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THIS IS THE WALTZ THAT DOESN’T END…

A full scripted parody of Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz (movie version)
Written and © 2002 by Jen Burke
Don’t steal. I bite.

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LEGAL DISCLAIMER: I make no claims of owning anything Gundam-related except for a VHS and DVD copy of the Endless Waltz movie. Parody is a constitutionally-protected form of free speech, and I am making no money off of this.

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AC 195

The year After Colony 195. 

A group of Colony citizens hostile towards the Alliance sent a consecutive number of youthful trainees to earth in five mechanical robots consisting of Gundanium Alloy in a scene known to the organization as “Operation Meteor.”  Finalizing the battle, the revolutionary head of previously said organization, hearby known originally as OZ but currently as the Earth Sphere Alliance, Treize Kushrenada assimilated the task of ending such means of violence problem solving, ironically ending his life in the hands of one previously said youth, Altron Gundam Pilot, Chang Wufei…er…Wufei Chang…er…the chinese one. 

From such events rose the birth of a new organization…number 5 or 6, I lost count…henceforth known as the current Earth Sphere Unified Nation.  Precisely one annual cycle later, no military force of arms were detected anywhere in the Earth Sphere.  However, as Dorothy’s always ranting on and on about, there will always be battles in the course of the biped rule over planet Earth…

Cast: *blink, blink* er…

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((On a Ship in Space))

Sally: This is Water.  I’ve confirmed our target.

Pause.

Sally: Um…anybody there?  Hello?

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((Resource Satellite))

Each of the Gundams is seen stored in its own compartment, except for Wufei’s.  The camera temporarily zooms in on Sandrock and Deathscythe, seeing as the other two’s pilots aren’t here and therefore they aren’t important…yet…

Duo: As long as ‘Jousan’s in office, there’s no more need for the Gundams…*blinks, pulls out script* Waitaminute….

Quatre: It’s tough parting with them.

Duo: I’ll say; I was only given a week to memorize my lines.

Quatre: I meant the Gundams.

Duo: Oh, yeah.  Boy, am I gonna miss blowing up stuff.

Sandrock: Umm….hello?  Don’t we get a say here?

Wing-ZERO: Ours is not to say, but wait and you’ll soon have your way…

Sandrock: You never did make much sense.

HeavyArms:

Deathscythe: …didn’t someone mention something about a buffet?  I’m starving.

Duo: <to Quatre> No, it’s okay. 

Sandrock: I can’t believe you, Quatre; after all I’ve done for you!  That does it, buster…we’re through! 

Duo: Let’s just get this over with before Hilde realizes I stole one of the disposal blocks from the scrap yard…

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((Somewhere on L2, a picture of a scrapyard is seen))

Hilde (v/o):  DUO!!!

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((Back to Resource Satellite))

Duo: *gulp*

Simultaneous, the two of them turn towards the Ship above, getting ready to send the satellite off.  Briefly, Quatre takes one last look back at Sandrock

Sandrock:  I’m not speaking to you.

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((Spaceship above Satellite))

Duo: See ya later, old pal.

Quatre: Sayonara, Sandrock

Duo: <Terminator> Hasta la vista, beby…

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((Quick View of Gundams))

Deathscythe: <Terminator II> I’ll be back…

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((View of the Satellite blasting off towards the sun, with v/o’s in the background))

Heavyarms: <as Satellite Blasts off> To Infinity and Beyoooooooooooond!

Sandrock: Oh, shut up.

Duo: What do you mean, Wu Fei didn’t bring his?!  You said we didn’t have a choice!

Quatre: He said something about needing it to help a 7-year-old take over the world.  It sounded pretty important, so I let him keep it.

Duo: Oh.  Okay.  Speaking of, I wonder what everyone’s up to now…

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AC 196

At the Natural Resources Satellite, MO-2, a progressive gathering of political officials and specifically invited civilians was currently in progress in celebration of the premiere monoaniversary of the finale to what they now call the “Eve Wars.”

Une: Okay, now you’re just making words up.

Am not.

Une:  One year ago, we apparently didn’t even know what Christmas was, let alone have peace of mind to celebrate…care to explain that one, Mr. Know-It-All?

Uh…

President: We are here to remember…blah, blah, blah…lives lost…foolish war… valuable lessons…peace…vote for me! <makes “V” sign, smiling at the cameras>

Une closes her eyes and walks away from the crowd.  Noin quickly follows, and they both head to the back wall.  Folding her arms, Noin leans up against it.

Wall: Hey, watch it!

Noin stares at the President for a moment before speaking.

Noin: …he’s an idiot.

Une: I agree.*twitch* Don’t say that, he’s making an effort at least! *twitch* You call that an effort?  He probably has no clue what happens around him. *twitch*  No, he understands somewhat what’s going on.  Believe it or not, he’s actually doing the best he can. <smiles> He’s pretty smart for a descendent of the Bush family…

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((Back on Sally’s Ship))

Sally speaks over a vidscreen with Noin.

Sally: It’s about time!  I’ve been giving a damn report for ten minutes before I realized you two ran off to a party!  Without me!  <starts to cry>

Noin: Prevents only put out fires.  These ceremonies don’t suit us anyways…

Sally: <sniffling> …huh?

Noin: Forget it.  <takes on “business look”> So?

Sally: <blink> So what?  Oh!  There’s a possibility that the Neo-titanium block is from the thirteenth constellation.

Noin: Orion?

Sally: NO! I’m using various sources to determine where exactly it’s from.

Noin: This isn’t going to be quite as simple as our last few missions.

Sally: I agree…wait.  What missions?  Are you going on mission without me again?! <starts crying again>

Noin: Yeesh…

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((On Sallite apparently new and still under construction))

Man: <v/o> As you’re aware, it’s been only seven years since Colony L3-X18999999999—

Man 2: <whispers> there’s only three 9’s

Man: —was completed.

Man 3: <mutters> Completed? Could’a fooled me…

The scene cuts to a large conference room, where Relena is having a meeting with various other colonial representatives.  High above, on a big…BIG…my god, I wonder what a TV of that size would go for…screen, the presidents so-called “speech” is displayed.  He currently shakes a baby, kissing the mother’s hand in the process.

Man: We’ve invited people from Earth to come live here, but our unstable economy is preventing the population from growing

Rubbing her temples, eyes closed for a brief moment, Relena softly mutters to herself before opening her eyes to answer.

Relena: I’m a happy little buffalo…I’m a happy little buffalo… <to Man>  The problem is whether or not people can actually remember the name of the colony when making flight plans.

Man: Oh, come on; it can’t be THAT hard, can it?

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((Scene on some distant colony, nearly on other side of the Earth))

A young couple, apparently around their thirties or forties (hey, in this day and age, that IS young) is seen aimlessly walking around a deserted building.  The woman turns to her husband, and smacks him over the head with her purse.

Woman: Damnit, Harold!  I told you to ask for directions!

“Harold,” however, is still looking frantically at the map he holds in his hands, barely wincing at his wife’s attack.

Harold:  I could have sworn there was a seven in the name somewhere…

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((Back on the Satellite with Relena))

Man 2: <stands up in his chair> We’ve also been told than many citizens here hope for a strong leader to rise up and guide them. 

Man 3: They’re guideless.

Man 2: They need someone like you, Vice Foreign Minister Peacecraft…er…Darlian…er…?

Relena: Hold on…

She takes out a coin, and flips it.  It lands on “Tails”

Relena: Darlian.

Man 2: Vice Foreign Minister Darlian.

Relena remains quiet for a moment, taking a sip of her “tea.” 

Relena: Oh, yeah. That really hits the spot…. What were you saying?  Oh, yeah.  That’s a real shame, you know…after all that fighting…

The men surrounding the table grin evilly…

Men: We’re evil.

…as Relena’s vision starts to go blurry.

Relena: My, what pretty colors

She drops the tea cup, loosing consciousness.  Soldiers suddenly appear through the doorway.  They all have “(\/)” on their hats.  One of the men walks up to greet them

Man: Oh, good, you’re here.  I ordered the Big Mac, John got the SuperSize Fries and Shake, Micky’s the—

Soldier: <vein throbbing> We’re soldiers, not McDonalds employees!

Man: …oh.

Man 2: She’s right over there <points to Relena>

The soldiers gently go to pick up Relena, except for one.  He stands firm, looking to the right of the screen with a smirk.

Soldier: Our scheme is complete now.  Those lacking leadership should make way for those possessing it.

Man 2: <v/o> Who’re you talking to?

Soldier: …nobody.

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((Inside a rather dark room))

Two shadowy figures are seated in front of another screen, also projecting the “speech.”

Shadowy Figure 1: <in a deep voice, turns off the screen> Nothing is wrong with wishing for peace.  The real question is whether mankind is ready for it.  Especially with a president like THAT.

The two figures are shown in slightly dim lighting, revealing them to be an old man with similar hat as the soldiers, except with a feather stick out of his head, and a young red-headed girl.

Girl: I guess we’ll just have to teach them how to deal with it.  Right, Daddy Dekim?

Dekim: I told you not to call me that!

Girl:Granddaddy Dekim?

Dekim: Oh, so now you’re mocking my age?   Kids these days have no respect.  Why, I remember in my day a young whipper-snapper would GET the whip for snapping at—

A view of various MS lined up is shown on the screen; Dekim’s voice continues in the background, talking about something having to do with the current price of a MS.

Marimaia: <v/o > My father entrusted me with these Christmas presents…. He don’t know me very well, do he? <giggles>

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((At a circus on L3))

The circus is apparently right in the middle of a show, as the elephants are busy performing.  The crowd, however, just barely takes up a third of the seats.  Cathy and Trowa stand off to the side, staring out into the audience.

Cathy: I can’t believe how small the crowd is today.  Our act’s not getting THAT stale, is it?

Trowa looks up, seeing suspicious-looking men dressed in trench coats standing in the doorway.

Trowa: It looks like this colony has other forms of entertainment.

Cathy: Other forms of entertainment? Don’t tell me…your buddies have decided to show off their Gundam again…

Trowa: <v/o> I’m gonna check it out.

Surprised, she looks back to find…no one.

Cathy: Trowa?  Dammit, I told him to stop doing that!

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((Outside the circus tent, a group of guys are getting the **** beaten outta them by Trowa))

Trowa: I don’t know where these muscles came from…but they sure as hell work for me!

Trowa fangirls sigh with happiness.

Trowa fangirls: Yes…they sure do…

After kicking the last one of them down, Trowa reaches into his jacket, pulling a card from his inside pocket.

Trowa: This is all?  Damn, these guys are getting cheep…<reads card> Barton Foundation?  Oh, f—

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((***FLASHBACK***  Trowa—multiple mechanics working on Heavyarms))

Trowa turns to walk down the gangplank after placing some of his tools away.  A blonde-haired man floats up towards him, seeing as they’re so little gravity and all.

Man: Hey!  You, there! I’ll show you something I’ve never shown anyone…

Woman: <in background> Today.

Man: Not that!

He holds out a picture of a brown-haired woman, holding a young red-head…who is so OBVIOUSLY Mariemaia.  With one arm around “Nanashi,” he proudly points out the two figures.

Man: Her name’s Mariemaia…no, not her, the young one!  She’s my sister’s daughter.  She’ll be Earth’s leader after we conquer it.

“Nanashi”: A five-year-old?

Man: No, no, of course not…she’ll be six by the time we crown her.

“Nanashi”: Is there any particularly reason why you’re showing me, a random, nameless soldier, this?

Man: Eh, you never know when this kind of information could come in handy…

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((***END FLASHBACK***))

Trowa just stares at the card, not blinking.  After a full minute, we hear faint snoring sounds coming from him, and he tips over on the ground. 

His eyes are still open.

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((On another satellite))

Heero types away on one of the apparent main computers.  He reads out loud the information.

Heero: Marimaia Barton.  Born After Colony 189.  Mother: Leia Barton—Deceased just two years after her birth.  Father: Trei—

Computer: *beep* They’re – not – supposed – to – know – that – yet – Einstein

Duo stands in the doorway.

Duo: It’s Christmas, and yet someone always gets stuck working.  Figure’s it’s you.

He walks over to Heero, and peeks over his shoulder to look at the screen

Duo: Gee, I didn’t know Trowa had a niece.

Heero: There’s a lot of things you don’t know. But the Trowa we know isn’t the real Trowa Barton…or did you not know that, either.

Duo:  Shaddup…

Heero stands up and grabs his jacket, getting ready to leave.

Duo: Where the heck are you going?

Heero: Um…out…

As he opens the door, he briefly looks back at Duo.

Heero:  Relena’s been kidnapped.

…and out the door he runs. 

Duo briefly turns to the camera.

Duo: Raise your hands if you didn’t see that coming a mile away…

Yaoi fans (those still in denial, at least) in the audience are seen raising their hands, sulking.

Duo sweatdrops.

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((Satellite—Dekim Barton is seen speaking to a crowd of soldiers))

Dekim: The time has come to stand behind Miss Mariemaia.  We thank you all for your efforts and undying loyalty.  Today you are starting on the road to glory, but first…Questions?  Comments?

Various red-uniformed “McDonalds” soldiers stand in line. 

A random soldier raises his hand to speak.

Random Soldier: Is it true that Miss Mariemaia is really only a seven-year-old being brainwashed by her grandfather into believing she is fighting for her currently deceased father, when she is really only feeding into his evil plot and will eventually get shot by him in a last attempt to try and claim victory?

Other Soldiers:

Dekim: Who do you think you are, the narrator?  Kids today think they’re so smart.  Anyways, you, my Mc-soldiers—

The soldiers cluelessly look amongst themselves.

Dekim: —yes, you—shall be the symbol of hope for the people!

A purple vortex appears in the center of the room.  A lone figure steps out of it.

TK: Did somebody say “Hope”?  …waitasec…this doesn’t look like the Dark Ocean to me!

Gatomon: <v/o> I told you he’s flipped.

Dekim: Wrong anime, kid.

TK: *blink*

The vortex appears again, with the image of Kari.

Kari: Takeru-kun…

TK: ’Kari!

He jumps towards the vortex, voice cracking as he calls her name. They both disappear in a blinding flash of pink light

Soldiers: *twitch*

In the back of the room somewhere, the fourth wall moans as it creaks ominously.

Wall: The pain…

Dekim: Dear God, I should’ve listened to my lawyer and retired when I had the chance. 

Shaking his head, he looks to the side, where Wufei is seen (short-shorts and all) holding a clipboard.

Dekim: What’s next on the agenda?

Wufei: <reads off the clipboard> Shoot Trowa Barton.

Dekim: Oh, yeah. I’m getting too old for this stuff <pulls out gun, points it at Trowa> Trowa Barton, get your ass up here now…

Glaring, Trowa easily dodges the bullet shot at him, doing one of those mad-cool triple-triple flips in the air before landing directly in front of Dekim.  He then stands and takes a bow as the other soldiers cheer and clap.  Dekim just stands there in shock.

Dekim: You’re not Trowa!  You…you…imposter!

He then takes off his hat and starts beating Trowa with the feathers.  Wufei taps him on the shoulder, whispering something in his ear.

Dekim: Really?

Wufei nods.

Dekim: Nobody tells me these things…

In that amount of time, Trowa managed to pull his gun out of pocket-space, but not before Wufei pulls a katana on him.

Trowa: D’oh!  I knew I should’ve been quicker!

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((Some Type of Cargo-Ship in Space))

Noin stares at the fuzzy screen.

Noin: I wonder if I could get HBO on this thing…

Sally (v/o): This is Water.  Respond on secret lines “H to the Izz-o”

Noin: I thought it was “V to the Izzy”

Sally appears on the screen.

Sally: That was last week.  Anyways, I found out where the fire started.

Noin: *blink* There was a fire?

Sally: I meant I found out where the trouble started.

Noin: Oh…L3, right?

Sally: *blink, blink*

Noin: It wasn’t hard to figure out, considering all the various soldiers we’ve seen hanging around there lately.

Sally: You mean at that new colony, Hex-One-Eight-Fine-Fine-Fine…

Noin: No, I think it was Zechs-Done-Hate-Mine-Mine-Mine…

Sally: I’m pretty sure there were numbers in it…how about—

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((Scene of Bedroom))

Relena lies unconscious in the large bed, her long hair flowing behind her.

Relena Haters: Yay!

Her eyes slowly open.

Relena Haters: Boo!

Once regaining full consciousness, she sits up in alarm.  Very briefly, her wig falls off, revealing normal, shoulder-length hair.  Before anyone notices, she puts it back on.

Mariemaia (v/o): ‘bout time you’re up.  Gawd, it would take another war to wake you…and did you know that you snore REALLY loudly?

At the sound of the voice, Relena looks frantically around the room…

Relena: Please don’t let me be hearing voices again…

…sighing in relief when she notices the office chair turning around to reveal Mariemaia.

Relena:  Oh, thank god!

Mariemaia: Hi.  I told my soldiers to bring you here.

Relena: …you have soldiers? 

Mariemaia: Hey, if you were Queen of the World, anything’s possible.  My name is Mariemaia Kushrenada.  Daughter of Treize Kushrenada.

Relena: Pft, yeah right.

Turning around, with her back facing Relena, Mariemaia closes her eyes and swings her legs child-like.

Mariemaia: It’s no joke.  You can check the script if you don’t believe me.

Relena: *blinks* Script…?

Mariemaia: I head there’s a so-called adult world that kids don’t understand, so I can’t begin to explain how I’ve come to live in this world…

Relena: Oh, well it’s this little story called “The Birds and the Bees.”  You see—

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One Hour Later…

Relena: …and then nine months later, the baby’s born.

Mariemaia, on the other hand, has her hands over her ears, shaking her head furiously.

Mariemaia: Too Young!  Too Young!  Too Young!

Relena: Well, you brought it up.

Mariemaia: I’ve been chosen to lead the Earth Sphere Unified Nation…<thoughtful look appears on her face> you know, if you chance the “U” to a “P”, I’d be in charge of ESPN.  Cool…<snaps out of it> but anyways, I won’t allow such rude—and downright disturbing—talk!

Both of their attentions turn to the door, where a number of red soldiers enter in, standing guard.  Mariemaia closes her eyes and turns away.

Mariemaia: Forget it. It’s nothing.  Leave the room.  Now!

Soldier: <Salutes> Yes’m.

The Soldiers leave.

Soldier 2: Wanna go get something to eat? 

Soldier 3: Sounds good.  You’re buying.

Relena: *blink, blink* You really DO have soldiers.  And they work at McDonalds!

Mariemaia: No, I OWN McDonalds! Muahahahaha!

Relena: Then let me ask you one thing: …when’s lunch? 

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((Back with Noin and Sally))

Sally points to the sheet of paper on her clipboard.

Sally: No, see here?  There are *definitely* numbers.

Noin: *blink* Whatever. We’re already two scenes behind, so let’s get crackin’!

Sally: Right! Er…what was the question?

Noin facefaults.

Noin: Leader of the colony?  Does that ring a bell?

Sally: Bell?  Is someone getting married. <reads off of clipboard> Mariemaia Barton, huh? …wait, isn’t she, like, 7 or something?  That’s awful young to be getting married, even in Japanese culture…

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((Shot of Space, Fades into a Spaceship Hanger.  A red shuttle flies in, heading next to a much larger vessel))

Quatre (v/o): What do you plan on doing tonight?

Duo (v/o): The same thing we do every night, Q-ball, try to take over the…wait a sec, wrong show.

Quatre (v/o):. Why don’t you just do what you always did in the series?

Duo (v/o): What, you mean follow Heero around to make sure he doesn’t try to blow himself up again?  I guess…

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((Scene fades into Quatre speaking with Duo over a vid-screen))

Duo: I’m sure we’re gonna have a blast of a party there…hehe…get it?  Blast?

Silence. 

A cricket chirps somewhere in the background. 

Quatre stands up abruptly.

Quatre: Without the Gundams?  Did you forget we blasted them into the sun?!

Duo: Heero says that really makes no difference…and Heero knows all….

Quatre: Say that again without the gun pointed at your head.

Duo sweatdrops, and the gun vanishes.

Duo: Well, we might not even NEED the Gundams.

Quatre: Yeah…sure…

Heero is seen typing away something on his laptop.  What, we do not know.

Duo: I mean, even if it turns into a MS battle, we can always steal a few of their suits.  It’s worked before, hasn’t it?

Quatre:

Duo: Okay, okay…but there’s a first time for everything!

Quatre remains silent, looking downward in worry.  Multiple fangirls squeal at his kawaii [uber-cute] expression.

Duo: <sighs, leans towards Heero> If you don’t say anything, Quatre always takes the blame himself for everything.  One day he’ll say that his lack of effort is the reason there’s no air in outer space…

Quatre (v/o): I heard that!

Heero remains silent, continuing to type. 

Quatre muses.

Quatre: We’re faced with a great danger, and I’ve taken the only means to counter this situation. <speaking> Duo, I’m going out to get our Gundams Back.

Duo looks back at the screen in surprise.  His expression sends Quatre rolling on the floor with laughter.

Duo: What?!  But we’ve already thrown them into the sun! 

Quatre still laughs.

Duo: QUATRE!

Wiping away a tear, he manages to answer.

Quatre: Well…if I left now, I’d probably catch them in time.

Duo: <sighs> Okay, fine, whatever…just do us a favor, and don’t even THINK of using ZERO, okay?  We’re trying to save a colony, not blow it up.

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((Sally and Noin…again))

Sally continues on talking about weddings, numbers, and something about bell day-care.

Noin is seen attempting to construct a noose out of her scarf.

Sally: …and, of course, mauve would be the PERFECT color for…wait a sec, I just remembered something.

Noin has a gun to her head, ready to fire, when Sally briefly catches her attention.

Noin: What is it?

Sally: Vice Foreign Minister Peacecraft-Dorlan’s been missing since her last visit to…er…that new colony.

Noin: Relena-sama?!

Sally: <sarcastically> No, strangely enough, her mother.

Noin: Funny.  We’d better change our Rendezvous point then.

Sally: …Ron-day-whosiwhatsit?

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((Heero and Duo inside the shuttle))

Duo turns off the screen after wishing Quatre good luck, and turns to face Heero.

Duo: So…are we done?

Heero: What do you mean, “we”?  I’m the one doing all the work here.

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((Quatre’s spacecraft))

Quatre (v/o): I’m grateful to have you guys accompany me, Rashid.

Rashid (v/o): Don’t mention it, Quatre-sama.

The scene switches to inside the shuttle, with all the Mauguanacs sitting quietly in their seats.  Quatre and Rashid sit at the back, captaining the flight.

Quatre: <hanging his head in shame> It’s all my fault. I should have NEVER mentioned sending the Gundams into the sun.

Rashid: No one could have predicted this would happen.  Well, maybe the narrator…

*innocently* Who…moi?

Quatre: Yes, you’re right.

Rashid: Of course I’m right.  I’m always right.

One of the Mauguinacs, Abdul, turns to look at Rashid.  It’s only now we see the shackles chained to each of their hands and feet.

Abdul: Um…master?

Rashid: SILENCE, FOOL!

Abdul: But…I hafta pee…

Quatre ignores this, as he is looking up the route on the computer screen.

Quatre: The block is over fifty days away from Venus’ orbit.  With this Interplanetary Transport Ship I bought off of Washu, we should just barely catch up to it.

Mauguanac 1: Don’t worry, master, everything will work out fine. 

Mauguanac 2: We wouldn’t want to return to find there’s no more earth.

Mauruanac 3: Of course not!  All those loyal fans…worshiping our every move…

Quatre: <glares> You mean MY every move.

Mauguanac number 3 cowers in fear, holding up his shackled hands to protect himself.

Mauguanac 3: Yes, sir.  Sorry, sir.

We see the shuttle heading towards a VERY large star.  Obviously, it’s the sun.

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((Heero and Duo))

Duo stares out the window into space. 

Duo: I’m back to being Shinigami…cool….

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((***FLASHBACK*** Duo—Some sort of MS Storage Compartment))

Duo is seem placing a whole lotta explosives on Deathscythe, then jumps down, running behind a nearby wall for cover.

Wall: Oh, sure…NOW I get some recognition.

Duo holds up the detonator Heero-style.

Duo: So long…buddy. 

He pushes the button, but nothing happens.  Frustrated, he pushes the button over and over.

Duo: What happened to the KABOOM?  There was supposed to be an earth-shattering KABOOM!

He looks back over at his intended target, before the sound of someone sneaking up behind him grabs his attention.  He abruptly turns around.

Scientist: Duo!  Deathscythe is a superb piece of art!  I should know; I created it.  Think of a better way, rather than blowing it up.

Duo: *pouts* But I like blowing things up…

The Doctor (I haven’t a CLUE what letter he’s supposed to be…I think it was G) walks over, taking Duo by surprise, and reaches into his shirt pocket, pulling out his gun.

Duo: PEDOPHILIA!

Not THAT gun, Duo.  The OTHER gun.

Duo: …oh, yeah.  That gun.

Doctor Something-or-other holds the gun up, motioning towards it as he speaks.

Scientist: So, you were planning to kill me after you destroyed Deathscythe.

Duo: Um…no?

Scientist: Liar.  Listen, I only get a brief face-appearance in this movie, so, I wanna make it good.  Why don’t you STEAL Deathscythe?  Forget Operation Meteor, and take it to earth to use at your own discretion.

Duo is still trying to push the button.

Duo: Why…won’t…it…EXPLODE?!

Scientist: …you can go as Shinigami…

This catches his attention, as Duo’s eyes open wide and he jumps up and down, clapping his hands excitedly like a little kid.

Duo: Really?!  Shinigami?!  I’ve always wanted to be called that!  Oh, this’ll be so cool! 

He hugs the Scientist/Doctor…TIGHTLY.

Duo: Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou!

Scientist: Can’t…breathe…<thinking> Why do I have the feeling I should’ve let him kill me?

.

((***END FLASHBACK***))

Duo is still looking out the window, only this time we see his reflection looking back.

Duo: Why, hell-o, you handsome devil, you!

He, of course, is too busy staring at his reflection to notice that Heero has long since fallen asleep…

.

((***FLASHBACK/DREAM SEQUENCE—Heero, on training base at L1 colony***))

Heero jumps a REALLY high fence, flipping in mid-air until he hits the ground, then runs out to an open field, down a hill, does a forward flip and lands on the grass.  He’s smiling and laughing. 

I’m frightened.  Very frightened.  Are you frightened?

Heero soon calms down, looking up at the “sky”—buildings on the other side of the colony—until a shadowy face of a young girl obstructs his view.

Heero: Hey!  You’re blocking my sun!

Girl: Are you lost, mister?

Heero gets up and looks at her, but doesn’t respond.

Girl: Hello?  Are you deaf, too?

Heero: No, I heard you…<looks away> I’ve been lost ever since I was born.

The girl stares at him oddly for a moment.

Girl: You’re weird.  Mommy never told me to talk to strangers, and you’re about as strange as they come.  Come on, Mary, let’s go…

As she leaves, she drops a little yellow flower on the ground.  Heero sees this and picks it up, looking at it intensely.

Heero: Ah, to be like the buttercup…

The scene abruptly changes to later on that day, with Heero holding up a detonator in typical Heero-style.

Heero: I push ‘da button!

He presses the detonator, blowing up a base of some sort.

Heero: Hehe…it go boom!

But just as he turns to leave…something goes wrong.  A fallen mobile suits sets off a chain reaction of explosions…

Heero: <looks back in surprise>

…of mobile suits collapsing backwards…

Heero: OH, ****!

…and as Heero tosses the button to the ground, running back towards the scene, this leads into a large MS crashing into a residential building.  Witnessing the whole thing, Heero just stands there in shock.  He looks around guiltily for a moment.

Heero: …I didn’t do it!

Heero then dashes off, whistling innocently.

Later, when all the fire is out, Heero slowly walks among the rubble.  It starts to snow, most likely ash from the explosion.  In the background, the little nameless girl is seen running around happily.

Girl: <singing> It’s snow-ing! It’s snow-ing! La--la-la--la-la!

Meanwhile, Heero finds buried among the debris something he was hoping NOT to find: the body of Mary, the dog.  Slowly, he picks the dog up and holds it in his arms.  The little girl walks over to where he’s standing.  She gasps in shock at the little white bundle he’s holding.

Girl: Oh, my god…you killed Mary!

She starting kicking him in the shin.

Girl: You…*kick*…Bastard…*kick*…!

Ignoring her, however, Heero slowly walks away, carrying Mary.  She follows, not missing a beat in her kicks.  Voices are soon heard in the background.

(Doctor J: You mean use the Gundams as a tool of carnage?!)

Heero pauses at the sound.  The little girl still kicks.

(Dekim: This is war!  Sacrificing the general public is of no relevance!  In my day, youngsters did NOT question their elders!

Doctor J: …I’m older than you are…

Dekim: …RETRAIN HIM AT ONCE!  Our weapon has no use for human kindness.)

Heero looks upward at the sky, curious.  The little girl has stopped kicking him, looking at him strangely.

(Doctor J: But do you really believe Heero Yuy would be pleased if we obliterated mankind?

Dekim: Who cares?  He’s DEAD!)

Heero frantically looks around him.  The little girl, weirded out to no extent, finally speaks up.

Girl: What are you looking for, you dog-killer?

Heero: The Voices…  Where are those voices coming from?

Girl:

Heero: CAN’T YOU HEAR THE VOICES?!

Girl: …freak….

Giving him one more kick for good measure, she runs off.

Duo (v/o): Heero!  Hey, Heero…!

.

((***FLASHBACK ENDS***))

Duo shakes Heero gently to wake him up.

Duo: Wake up!

Heero: <mumbling> Five more minutes, mommy.

Duo:

Regaining consciousness completely, Heero sits upright, giving Duo a quick “mention-that-to-anyone-and-you’ll-be-worse-than-dead” look.  Duo gulps.

Heero: What is it?

Duo: That little girl, sir, is about to issue a statement…sir…

The screen in front of them flickers at that very moment, showing Mariemaia…or at least, the top of her hat.

Mariemaia: Down here, moron!

There’s some muffled sounds as the camera is repositioned to show Mariemaia’s face. She sighs, and speaks briefly.

Mariemaia: Good help is so hard to find these days…

The camera then zooms out to show a view of the colony.  Various weapons and MS are seen soon after.

Mariemaia (v/o): We, at Colony L3-X18999 hereby wish to announce our independence from the Earth Sphere Unified Nation…

.

((Sally/Noin, now together in the same ship))

Sally: HA!  I *told* you there were numbers in it!

Noin: Oh, shut up.

.

((Mariemaia on screen))

Mariemaia: …and declare war!  I am a legitimate heir of the World Nation Sovereign.  My name is Mariemaia Kushrenada…daughter of Treize Kushrenana.

.

((Sally/Noin))

Noin: …WHAT?!

Sally: Huh.  Didn’t see that one coming.

.

((Down on Earth))

A large screen located on the side of a building broadcasts her speech.  The civilians watch in astonishment.

Citizen: Hey!  What happened to football?  I had money on that game!

Mariemaia: I’m carrying out my father’s will… at least, that’s the story I’m sticking with.  It’s in the human nature to fight!

The camera briefly zooms down to a certain blonde female in the crowd

Dorothy: <smugly> Told you!

.

((White House, nighttime, in the President’s Bedroom))

The door is shut, so that all we see is the “Do Not Disturb” sign.  Giggling is heard coming from inside.

President: <muffled> So…you say your name is Monica, huh?

Meanwhile, the VICE President is on the phone complaining to Lady Une as he watches Mariemaia on the television screen.

Vice President: …what are we paying you people for, anyways?!

.

((Scene switches to Une’s office))

Une: I already reported on this matter the other day!

Vice President (on the phone): Well, a lotta good THAT did us!

Une: We’re doing everything to stop this from progressing, but it seems they’d prepared for this before our department was ever—

The Vice President hangs up on her. 

Une: <scoffs> How rude!

She places the phone down, and muses as she looks downward, holding the edge of her desk for support.

Une: I can stand here and make excuses all day…*twitch*  They why don’t you?  *twitch* You stay out of this.  The point is we’re gonna need some help.

The sound of footsteps brings her attention the front door, where a man slowly walks in.

Une: Who are you?  And how the hell did you get past security?

Man: Excuse me, but I’ve come to ask for a code name.

Une: You’re…

Man: I’d like the name Wind…appropriate for one who

*Pfft*

Man: Eh…sorry. 

.

((Heero/Duo))

Duo: We’re almost at the L-3 area.  So how do you suggest we get in?

Heero: We could take over a couple of mobile suits.  But we’d probably be targeted while boarding.

Duo: *shrugs* What else is new?  Personally, I suggest ramming our way through the security…

Heero: It’s the only way.

Duo: Man!  You agreed with me! 

His eyes go all teary, as he wipes them dramatically.

Duo: I always knew this day would come…

Heero just rolls his eyes, and continues to ignore the American pilot.

.

((Sally/Noin))

Sally: So many buttons, so little time… Hey, Noin!  There’s a shuttle up ahead flying straight into those troop of mobile suits!

Noin clears a communication path with the shuttle.

Noin:  Attention, approaching shuttle!  What the HELL do you think you’re doing!  Get your asses outta here NOW!

Duo’s face appears on the screen.

Duo: Nice to see you too.

Noin: Duo?!

Duo: You were expecting King Aston?

Noin: Is Heero with you?

Duo: Seems they’re gonna have quite a Christmas party.  Thought we’d go steal…I mean give ‘em their present.

Sally: Are you kidding?!  Not without your Gundams!  How will you retaliate?

Noin: You still haven’t answered my question.

Duo: Oh, I’m sure we’ll think of something… if we can get to the colony…

Noin: …just admit it; you need our help.

Duo: WHAT?  You lie.  Anyways, we gotta go; don’t wanna be late for the party, even fashionably late.

The screen goes fuzzy as Duo’s last words are heard over the speaker.

Duo (v/o): Oh, yeah…don’t blame us if they run out of food.

Heero (v/o): Blame Duo.

Sally: *blink* That was…interesting….

Noin: Okay, Sally…we’re going to divert the Tauruses attention to ourselves so they can fly through, all right?

Sally: B-b-but…Duo said…

Noin: Nuts to that; I wanna help!  Besides, when do we ever listen to Duo?

Sally: About as often as anyone listens to him.

Noin: Exactly.

.

((ACTION SEQUENCE))

Various Mobile suits fire at the shuttle as Duo expertly dodges each shot with incredible skill.

Duo: Whoo-hoo!  Who’s the man now, Heero?  Who’s the man?

Heero: Shut up and drive.

Duo: …yessir…

One MS in particular heads towards the shuttle, as Duo steers right past it.  He weaves his way around other Mobile Dolls in a similar fashion.  One suit manages to chip the side of the shuttle, causing Duo to recoil for a moment then plow through.  Sally and Noin come up from behind and shoot at the dolls, drawing their attention.  They disengage the cargo, which happen to be missiles…

Sally: Convenient, ne?

…succeeding in blowing up quite a few suits.  As the rest are finally destroyed, Duo prepares to land in the docking area.

Duo: Hold on tight; we’re going in!

Two suits get in his way, shooting at the shuttle.  The ship takes each blow with stride, as Duo pushes forward.

Duo: Move it or loose it; either way’s fine with me!

Pouding this one button, he releases the large part of the ship on top.  This collides with one of the suits and draws the other two away from the opening.  Though he is still being shot at, Duo drives the shuttle through the opening of the dock, nearly crashing into the floor in the process.  They come to a halt suddenly, deathly silence taking over for a full moment.

Duo: …not bad for my first time, wouldn’t you say?

Seeing they made it, Sally and Noin drive off.

Sally: You hungry?  I hear a new McDonalds just opened up on a nearby colony…

.

((Inside the Satellite)

Duo and Heero somehow managed to steal a couple of Mobile Suits.

Duo: Did I call that one or what?

And are currently facing off a number of Dolls.

Doll 1: Mama…mama…mama…

Doll 2: <robotic voice> We can do a-many thing; like laugh and dance and hug and sing!  La—la-la—la—la-la-la—la-la-la…

Duo: Ahh!  The evil must be eliminated!

The two dolls blow up in the battle.  Heero then slices off the arm of another before plowing through two more.

Duo: Showoff.

Heero appears briefly on the viewscreen in Duo’s cockpit.

Heero: Destroy all you can, then escape.  Proceed at your own discretion.

Duo: <mutters> Who died and made you boss?

Heero: If I recall correctly, the original Heero Yuy…and Doctor J.  Care to argue?

Duo: *grumble, grumble*

Duo heads towards a doorway, when he is stopped by a larger, new model MS.

Duo: It’s a new model!

I just said that.

Duo: Sorry.

The pilot stands there, firing away his arms.  He succeeds in drawing Duo away from the door, who hides behind a nearby wall for cover.

Wall: Anybody else sensing Déjà vu here?

Duo: Wow…this guy’s pretty good.  Not nearly as good as me, of course, but you can’t top perfection.

Carefully, Duo watches the pilot’s movements.

Duo: …or lack thereof.

Shaddup.

Duo: Hey…wait a sec…I know this style of combat!  Silence…minimum movement…

The scene briefly fades into the cockpit, revealing Trowa.  He currently sits, reading a good book, not bothering to watch the battle in front of him.

Duo sees an image of Heavyarms overlaying the suit…

Duo: Gotta love those special effects.

…and the fact that the two suits look nearly identical help quite a bit.

Duo: No doubt about it…Wufei’s in that suit!

An invisible hand smacks Duo upside the head.

Duo: Ow!  Did I say Wufei?  ‘cause I meant Trowa.  That’s it, Trowa’s in the suit.

And even though he recognizes an ally, he STILL comes out from hiding, firing away like Rambo.

Duo: Take this, hot shot!  Hehe…get it? Heavyarms…hotshot?

The cricket packs a suitcase, and puts on his hat.

Cricket: That does it; I quit.

.

((Over to Heero))

Heero manages to plow through a number of mobile suits, almost with ease, when he spots the dragon claw coming from one direction.  He looks over to find Wufei in the Altron Gundam to his left.  The two engage in a standoff.

Wufei: I’ve always wanted to fight you like this.

Heero:

Wufei:

Heero:

Wufei:

Heero:

Wufei: *blink*

Heero: Ha!  I win.

Wufei: Noooooooooooooooo!

Wufei attacks, but Heero blocks.  They begin to fight one-on-one, managing to hold a life-appraising conversation in the process.

Heero: Wufei…what the hell’s going on?

Wufei: Wish I knew.

Heero: That’s not what I meant…

Wufei: Are you guys doing the right thing?

Heero: Yeah…you’re really in the position to be asking that right now.

Wufei:

Heero:

Wufei: ANSWER ME!

The continue battling, before Heero pulls back enough to speak.

Heero: Wufei!  Hit the self-detonation switch!

Wufei: …you’re kidding, right?

He goes on with the battle, slicing off one of Heero’s suit arms in the process and swiping at the cockpit.  The hatch is blown open, and Heero stands up, glaring at Wufei.

Heero: I repeat: hit the switch.

Wufei: Bite me.

Once more, they stand-off.   No one bothers to question why Wufei doesn’t just finish him off now, when he has the chance.

Wufei: Because there is no justice in that.

Whatever. *coughwusscough*

.

((Trowa/Duo))

Trowa continues to shoot, knocking Duo on his back.

Duo: T-Trowa…

He tries to get his suit up, but it doesn’t work.

“Trowa” (over intercom): Got the wrong guy.  I’m not Trowa.

Duo: …Nanashi, then?  Triton? Am I getting close?  Midii’s bi—

Trowa cuts him off by opening the shoulders of the MS to reveal multiple missiles.

Duo: Aw, hell.

“Trowa” aims and fires.  The missiles head straight for Duo, and almost reach him, when…

.

 ((***FLASHBACK*** Trowa—out in the woods))

Duo (v/o): Whew!  Thank God for that… Wait, didn’t Trowa already have a flashback?  Not that I’m really complaining or anything, though….

A small group of MS are slowly walking through a forest on patrol on night.  Inside one of them, we find a young Trowa, around age 10.  We know it’s him because of the give-away haircut (which, by the way, looked MUCH cuter when he was younger).  Around his neck, we see the only evidence in the anime that Midii Une ever existed: the golden cross she gave him.

Trowa (v/o): I am not Trowa.  I am Triton.  I am Nanashi.  And, yes, I am Midii’s Bi— er… But that’s besides the point…

The scene switches back to the group of mechanics from previous flashback.

Trowa (v/o): The first time I met the man called Trowa…

Trowa sits cross-legged on a gangplank, working on the computer, doing REALLY REALLY high-class technical stuff.

Trowa (v/o): …I was just about to get the high score on Final Fantasy Thirty-Seven, when…

The scene switches to around the corner.  The REAL Torwa abruptly turns to face Doctor S and his assistant, obviously mad.

Trowa: What’s this all about?  What do you mean I won’t make it through the scene?

Doctor S: Trowa, If we proceed with Operation Meteor, two billion people will die, Trowa.  Isn’t that overkill for Heero Yuy’s revenge, Trowa?

Trowa: …why do you keep repeating my name?

Doctor S: Umm…no reason, Trowa.

Trowa: O…k…. And anyways, the purpose of this plan is NOT revenge!  We just told the mechanics that so they’d work for free!

Doctor S: That sounds like something Dekim of the Barton Foundation would say.  Damn cheapskate.

Trowa: You…you’re just jealous!  All of you!  You’re jealous that MY family gets to rule the Earth Sphere and YOU don’t!

He quickly turns to leave.

Doctor S: Where are you going.  Trowa?!

Trowa: I’m telling my daddy on you!  Just watch.  You’ll get in BIG trouble when he finds out, and I’ll get to proceed with Operation Meteor all by myself!

The REAL Trowa suddenly collapses to the floor, shot in the back.  As he falls, we now see Doctor S holding the gun. 

Assistant: What you do that for?

Doctor S: He wouldn’t shut up.

He quickly hands the gun back to the assistant.

Doctor S: Now you’ve done it.

Assistant: But…but…

Something metal drops to the floor off-screen, drawing the attention of both men.

Doctor S: Who’s there?

“Trowa” (as in… our Trowa) walks out from where he was hiding, hands in the air.

Trowa: I have no name.  If you like, call me “Nanashi.” ‘Cause it means “no name.” Litterally.

The Assistant glares at him, holding up the gun.

Assistant: How much did you see?

Trowa: Er…nothing.  But if you wish to kill me, I might retaliate.

Doctor S: *blink, blink* How could you possible retaliate if you’re dead?

Trowa:

Doctor S:

Trowa: I’ll come back to haunt you all.

The Assistant, being afraid of ghosts, quickly puts the gun away. 

Assistant: But what are we going to do about…you-know…

Trowa: You’re giving up too easily.

Assistant: What the fudge are you talking about?

Trowa puts his hands down, and stars at the real—yet dead—Trowa Barton.

Trowa: I was feeling insecure without a name.  I wouldn’t mind taking on his name.

Assistant: …you can do that?

He then focus his attention on Heavyarms.

Trowa: I seem to be best suited—forgive the bad pun—for the battlefields.

An image of Trowa’s 10-year-old self inside a MS, followed by the mercenaries, and (of course) Midii briefly appear.

Midii: Yes, I exist, so get over it.

Doctor S: Are you saying you’ll pilot this suit, Heavyarms?

Trowa: <still staring at Gundam, and “image” of Midii> Hmmm…what?  Uh, sure.

Doctor S thinks about this for a moment

Doctor S: Oh, hell…what have we got to loose?  You are now Trowa Barton.  Operation Meteor is your responsibility.

Trowa: …cool…

.

((***END FLASHBACK***))

The missiles are still about to hit Duo, but when they explode, he’s still okay.

Duo: Yes!  I am immortal! Kira Yamato, eat your heart out!

.

The explosions creates noise and dust, momentarily bring Wufei’s attention away from Heero; when he looks back, Heero’s gone.

Wufei: How does he do that?

.

Duo looks up, then looks back to see the two large holds leading to lower floors.  He looks back at Trowa, who’s also disappeared from sight.

Duo: How does he do that?  Oh, well…

Blowing open the cockpit hatch, he floats over to and down one of the holes.

.

((Quatre & The Mauguanacs))

Quatre: At this rate, it’ll take us five days to rendezvous with the resources disposal satellite.  Now, the movie’s obviously not that long, so…

He types out a different path on the computer navigational system.

Quatre: …we could reduce the time by up to eighty hours on this route.

Mauguanac: No contest.  Let’s take that route!

Rashid: What have I said about speaking when not spoken to?!

Mauguanacs: Eep!

Mauguanac 2: But, sir…considering the fuel needed to accelerate now, and decelerate at the rendezvous point…we’d have no propulsion by the time we got there.

Quatre: I’m sorry, did you say something?

Mauguanac 3: Then there’s no way for us to get back?  Good Lord, NO!

Quatre: Oh, there’s a way to get back.  If we detonated the power generator and used the explosion as our propulsion, we could return to Earth in no time.  We’d fly the ship to Venus and use the catapult effect of its gravity to get to Earth.

Mauguanacs: *blink, blink*

Quatre: I love sounding smart.

Abdul: Our main problem will be time.  According to your calculations, the ship will run alongside the satellite for only five seconds!

Rashid: The question is how many people can we get on in five seconds?

The Mauguanacs quickly look away, whistling innocently.

Quatre: Some danger can’t be avoided.  Since Duo hasn’t sent us a message or anything, it’s likely things are getting more difficult there.  Either that, or he forgot my e-mail address again.

Rashid: Then it’s decided.  Our team will consist of Abdul, myself, and…

Quatre: No, I’m going alone.

Abdul: Oh, thank you God!

Mauguanac: …we’re Islamic…

Abdul: Then thank Allah, too!

Rashid: Quatre-sama! 

Mauguanac 6: Please, take us with you, master!

Mauguanac number 6 looks behind him, seeing number 3 attempting to throw his voice.

Quatre: Rashid, start the booster one last time.

Rashid: Quatre-sama, each on of them is ready to give his life up for you anywhere, anytime… right boys?

The Mauguanacs simultaneously nod.  Their shackles briefly scrape against the floor.  Quatre just smiles softly, nodding his head.  Squeals are heard in the background over the KAWAII way his bands lightly bounce with the movement.

Quatre:  In this universe, nothing is more precious than life.

Mauguanac 10: <whispers to guy next to him> This from the kid who once said his life wasn’t worth sh*t ‘cause he was born outta a test tube.

The boosters start up, as the ship increases in speed drastically.

.

((Sally/Noin))

A bunch of Taurus suits fly towards an intended target.  Sally and Noin watch their movement over computers.

Sally: The Taurus troops ahead are heading toward the relay station.

Noin: …what’s a relay station?

Sally: *shrugs* Got me.  A Preventer cruiser will arrive from the Lunar Base shortly.  I’m sure we can buy some time when they arrive.  I’ve got ten bucks on me, about ‘bout you?

Noin: Er…I’m broke.

Sally: Cheapskate.

Noin quickly changes the subject.

Noin: Any word from Heero and Duo?

Sally shakes her head “no”  Noin looks down in disappointment, when a sudden realization comes to her.

Noin: Sally, did you confirm any new suit models in the last battle?

Sally: *blinks* um…no? 

Noin quickly turns back to the computer, almost frantically.

Noin: We’ve underestimated them…

The screen shows heat sensors for Mobile Suits, revealing no trace of humans inside.

Noin: Just as I thought; the heat detectors show nothing!

Sally: so…what does that mean?

Noin bangs her head against the console.

Noin: The troops were all mobile dolls, meaning they weren’t the main troops.

Sally: Then…that’s a bad thing.

Noin: I need a new partner…  Sally, contact Earth at once!

Sally: Noin, Roger! I mean…Roger, Noin! I mean…

Noin: Just shut up and do it.

Sally: ‘kay.

.

((EARTH))

The scene focuses on pretty Christmas trees and people celebrating the holidays.  Lady Une looks out her window to the city below.

Une: These people have no idea what’s going on above their heads this very moment…

She looks up in surprise as snow begins to fall.

Une: Oooh…pretty… *sigh* Without strength to retaliate, she won’t need five minutes to take political control…*twitch* Thank a LOT, Relena…*twitch* Oh, shut it.  What would you do in this situation, Treize?

Suddnly, Treize’s ghost appear behind her. She looks at him in shock.

Treize: I am the ghost of Christmas Presents.

Une walks up to him, slapping him in the face.

Une: That was for never telling me you had a DAUGHTER, you man-whore!

.

((Quatre))

A view of the outside of the ship, heading straight for a much larger sun than before.  You know, since they’re much closer and all.

Mauguanac (v/o): We found the resources disposal satellite, master.  Can you PLEASE unshackle our hands and feet now?

Rashid (v/o): Quiet, you.

Quatre stares straight ahead, deep in thought.

Quatre: I’m almost there, Sandrock.

.

((Satellite with the Gundams))

The Gundams are all seen wearing poker hats, sitting around a large table.  Deathscythe smokes a cigar.

Deathscythe: Okay, I’ll see your five and raise you another three.

He tries to stare down Heavyarms.

Heavyarms:

Deathscythe: <throws his cards down> That does it; I can’t compete with a poker face like that.

Wing-ZERO: Competition is a form of alliances who do not always agree on the same perspective, but aim for the same goal.

Deathscythe: You’re not helping.

Sandrock is seen holding a picture of Quatre in its hands.  It mutters something incomprehensible, wiping away metallic tears with a hankie.

.

((***FLASHBACK*** Quatre))

Quatre stares out the view window at something, but abruptly turns to his right.

Quatre: Self-detonation device? 

Doctor: That’s right.  It’s been installed in Sandrock.

Sandrock: What the fudge?!  Why wasn’t I told about this?!

Neither hears the Gundam’s pleas, however.

Quatre: …why…?

Doctor: Because those with power must be prepared to lose their lives.

Quatre: <tilts head to the side, innocently> I don’t get it.

Doctor: Don’t worry…you will…

The screen on the consol blimps to live.  Information starts scrolling across the screen.

Quatre: Is than an order from the organization?

Doctor: Er…no…

He punches the screen, startling Quatre, and then pulls out the cable wiring.

Doctor: Quatre.  Fight as your heart tells you.  Apologize when you must kill.  And whatever you do, remember to drink your tea every day.  Tea is good.

Quatre: <nods> YesVery good.

Quatre opens the lock, and floats down the gangplank.  The Scientist watches from the room overhead.

Doctor: <in thought> I can’t take away his kindness and sincerity…

*bonk* A piece of the fourth wall cracks, impaling him on the head.

Doctor: But the script says “sincerity”!  It does!

*sigh* Jeff Nimoy’s influenced the Gundam world…God help us all.

Meanwhile, Quatre innocently floats over to Sandrock’s cockpit.

.

((***END FLASHBACK***))

We see a brief view of Quatre staring out ahead of him, before the scene switches over to that of MO-2.  Multiple MS are lined up, with Dekim standing overhead.

Dekim: My calculations are accurate.  Unlike those of Quinze…incompetent fool…

.

((L3-X18999))

Inside a helicopter, Mariemaia and Relena sit facing one another.

Relena: So what if you rule the Earth Sphere?  Are you sure you’d be carrying on your fa—I mean, Trei—I mean, your father’s will by doing this?

Mariemaia: You’ve got it all wrong.  I just want to be victorious.

Relena stares at her for a moment, trying to figure out that last statement.

Relena: O…k… Then you’ll have to decide on your own what the deeper meaning of fighting is.

Mariemaia: <shouts> I SAID NO RUDE COMMENTS, RELENA!!!

Relena cowers from the 7-year-old’s powerful vocal chords

Relena: <meekly> But…I didn’t say anything rude…

Through a pair of binoculars, Duo watches the same Helicopter from a rooftop on the colony.  Heero is next to him.

Duo: Hey!  I think I see Jupiter!  <spots the Helicopter> Oh, look…found ‘em.  They’re moving in an awful rush for people going to earth.  Now why would they ever wanna go THERE?

Heero: That’s because they’re gonna escape.

Duo puts the binoculars down, and turns to face Heero.

Duo: Escape?  Then why did they bother to take over this place?

Heero: Do I really need to tell you?

Duo: Does it *look* like I know?

Heero: Can’t you figure it out?

Pause.

Duo: But isn’t she Treize’s daughter?  Why would Treize’s daughter do something like that?

Heero: Did you forget about Dekim?

Duo: Do you recognize the name?

Heero: Do you?

Duo: Are they serious? 

Heero: What do you think?

Duo: They’re planning to go ahead with Operation Meteor?

Heero:

Duo:

Heero: …not if I have anything to say about it.

.

((Quatre))

Quatre stands ready at the opening with a cable-launcher to cross over to the satellite the instant they reach it.

Rashid (over intercom): Quatre-sama.  We’ll reach the satellite in twenty seconds.

A view of Quatre’s helmet reflecting off the image of space is seen for an instant before we actually see his face…

Quatre: Zzzzzz…

…fast asleep.

Rashid: QUATRE?!

Quatre is startled into wakening.

Quatre: Huh?  Yeah.  All set.  <sees something to his left> It’s here!

A computer generated image of the disposal block is seen cruising along.  The ship comes side-by-side with it.

Rashid (over intercom): Commencing countdown!

The ship starts to decelerate.

Rashid: 10…9…8…7…5…

Mauguanac: What happened to six?

Rashid: Just kidding…NOW GET BACK TO YOUR SEAT, PLEBE!

The ship comes up directly next to the block in awesome special effects.

Rashid: 5…4…3…2…1…ZERO!

Wing-ZERO: You called?

At “ZERO”, Quatre launches the cable, spearing the block with one end.  He starts to cross, but turbulence as the block starts to pull away knocks him off the cable

Quatre: [makes this really hilarious-sounding scream] WHAAAAAA!

Rashid: Quatre-sama! What the heck kinda scream was THAT?

He tumbles over and over in the air…

Quatre: I think…I’m going…to hurl…

…before gaining his composure, pushing a button on his suit that ignites a small jet pack.  He sails into the block, bouncing off…

Back in the ship, Rashid is seen relaxing comfortably in a plush recliner.  Two Mauguanacs are giving him a manicure/pedicure, while another massages his shoulders.  A fourth, chained to the wall by slightly smaller shackles than the rest, holds a glass of lemonade for him.

Quatre (over intercom): I’m…I’m okay.  I’ve managed to arrive on the satellite.

Rashid: Good boy. I knew you could do it.

Quatre pulls himself up to a stand.  As the ship pulls away, he waves goodbye.

Quatre: Take care, everyone.  Say hi to the Goddess on Venus.

Mauguanac 15 (intercom): …there’s a Goddess?  Do you think she grants wishes?

Mauguanac 27 (intercom): That’s a genie, dimwit.

Mauguanac 15 (intercom): Damn.

Inside the satellite, the air is so warm it visibly wavers.  Quatre floats down to the room where the Gundams were placed.

Quatre: The air remaining on the ship has minimized the rise in temperatures…but it’s still hotter than the desert in here!

Unfastening his helmet, Quatre slowly removes it, his bangs bouncing very slowly from lack of gravity, in a make-the-fangirls-swoon type motion you KNOW the animators put in just for that very reason. ‘Cause he’s such a bish’.

Briefly, he turns to the cameras.

Quatre: Aaron Carter, eat your heart out.

He then looks down at the four Gundams, Sandrock in particular.

Sandrock: Look who came crawling back…

.

((MO-2))

A scene of Dekim and soldiers in front of a large screen and consoles appears.

Soldiers: The Preventer cruiser has changed course.

Dekim: So they’ve realized what’s happening.  No matter, they’ll be too late by the time they arrive at this satellite.  <unfolds his arms, motions towards a soldier> Send out the Serpent troops at once!

Soldier: Um…they’re on vacation.

Dekim: WHAT?!  What idiot authorized that?

Soldier: …you did, sir.

Dekim: YOU WILL RESPECT YOUR ELDER, LAD!  I WAS GIVING HIGH-RANKING COMMANDS BEFORE YOU WERE EVEN BORN!  NOW FIND A TROOP AND SEND IT OUT NOW!

The soldier cowers in fear.

Soldier: Mommy…

The gates open, and MS cruisers are deployed.  However, an unidentified suit flies straight towards the satellite just as this is done.

Soldier: Unidentified mobile suit ahead!

Dekim: What?!

Soldier: I said: “Uniden—”

Dekim: I heard what you said, boy, I’m not deaf! 

The image on the screen is magnified greatly, revealing…

Soldier: It…it’s the Tallgeese!

Dekim: Thank you, Captain Obvious.  Could it be Treize?  No, he’s dead…must be Zechs!  Wait…wasn’t he dead, too?

Soldier: The Tallgeese is coming for us!

Dekim: Don’t be ridiculous; what makes you say that?

The Tallgeese flies up to one of the carriers; the eyes of the suit are seen glaring in the windows of one part.  The soldiers scream in shock…

Soldier 5: That!  What do we do now?!

Soldier 6: DIIIIEEEEE!  AAAAHHHHHHHH!

…as the sword is used to blast though.  He then blows up other carriers, and slices through a part of MO-2 before pulling back.

Zechs: My hunch was correct.  I guess there’s still a place for a man who can’t get used to peace.

Soldier: The Serpent suits can’t fight back wearing their atmospheric shielding devices!

Soldier 2: Should remove them?

Dekim: No need for that.

The soldiers stare at him.

Dekim: Just look.

He points to the screen, where a few suits managed to tiptoe past the Tallgeese, giggling. 

But then, Zech’s face appears.

Zechs: This is Preventer Wind.

Dekim: ANOTHER name?  Geeze…could you, ya know, make up your MIND at some point?  Kids these days with all these nicknames and junk.  In MY day, people had only ONE name, and if they ever forgot it, well than that was their problem…wait a sec; I thought you were dead!

Zechs: That’s right, I was.  But I find that I can’t sleep in my grave while Treize’s spirit still roams around…

Cut to outside.  The Ghost of Treize is seen wandering around aimlessly.

Trieze’s Ghost: War is beautiful…battles are valiant…the only thing we have to fear are girlfriends and Chinese fifteen-year-olds with big swords…

Zechs aims his tuning-fork weapon towards the satellite.

Zechs: I heard about you from Quinze. 

Dekim: And what do you have to say about that?

Zechs: Your autograph or your life!

Dekim: <smugly> Go ahead; shoot us if you dare.

Zechs: What?

Dekim: I suppose Quinze also told you I was the one who created Operation Meteor…

Zechs: X…X18999…

A brief shot of the colony, and balancing mechanisms is seen, all under Dekim’s complete control.

Dekim chuckles evilly.

Dekim: We can drop that colony any time we wish. 

Zechs growls in annoyance.

Dekim: Drop your weapons and surrender!  Unlike Quinze, I have no intention of inviting you to be our leader.  I’m not that stupid.  But I’ll consider you as a soldier under Marimemaia…

Zechs: *blink* Why would I do that, when I could just shoot you now?

Dekim: …the colony?

Zechs: Oh yeah…damn…well, in that case, I’m just going to sit here and stall until the other Gundam pilots prevent the colony’s instability.

Dekim: Okay.  Take your time.

In the background, more MS carriers head towards Earth, passing through the atmosphere. 

Wufei’s Altron stands on the satellite, waiting, before taking off.  A shuttle inside MO-2 blasts off into space.  Wufei follows it towards Earth.

Wufei: Now, Earth…show me what your true idea of justice is.

The clouds in the atmosphere seem to come together for a brief moment, spelling out “NO”

.

((Relena/Mariemaia))

Relena turns to Mariemaia in shock.

Relena: Weren’t we just in a helicopter before?  How’d we get into an airplane?

Mariemaia: Off screen, sometime while Dekim was talking about dropping the colony onto Earth…

Relena: …dropping the colony onto Earth?!

She grabs Mariemaia by the shoulders.

Relena: Stop this at once!  There’s no reason to do that!

Mariemaia calms removes her hands before answering.

Mariemaia: Relena.  Please calm down before you have a heart attack.  There’s no reason for me to do that as long as all of mankind bows before me.

Relena: Bows before you?  *blink* …and people think I’m spoiled!

Mariemaia: <ignoring her> And in your role as the former Queen Relena, you’ve entrusted me with the highest position of the Earth’s Sphere?

Relena: …I have?

Mariemaia: Yes, you have.  As the Vice Foreign Minister, you’re trusted by the colonies.  You have a must greater level of influential power over the people than even you realize yourself.  You could tell them to do anything!  You could make ‘em crawl, you hear me?  Crawl!

Relena: This is who I’ve trusted the colonies with?  Waitasec… that’s why you abducted me!

Mariemaia: Now you’ve got the picture.  Finally.  I’m sure most of the audience figured it out before you did.

Relena: Well, I’m sure most of the audience has seen this movie at least ten times.

.

((Quatre))

Quatre is seen in one of the control rooms…only…it’s steamy…and he’s sitting on a wooden bench in the back…and…he’s wearing a towel around his waist…and nothing else…damn, does he work out or WHAT?

Quatre: They were right!  It is like a big sauna!

Pouring a little more water on the coals to his right, he gets up, types a few commands on the computer, and manages to speed up the generators.

The next shot has him back in the space uniform, much to the dismay of fangirls everywhere.  He quickly gets to…er…a safe place…

Wall: Why don’t you just say it, hmm?  HE DUCKS BEHIND ANOTHER WALL!  That’s all I am to you; just a shield from explosions!  I used to be famous!  The infamous fourth wall…*sniff*…look at me now…

…and pushes a button, blowing up a side of the block.  This causes it to begin turning around.  He starts to countdown, keeping a close watch on the mini-computer on his watch.

Quatre: 5…4…3…This is even better than the Jetsons…

Another push of the button, and he blows up the generators, propelling the satellite back towards Earth.

Quatre: Well, it should get a bit cooler now…

Sandrock: <grimaces> damn…

.

((L3-X18999))

Alarms go off as explosions follow right behind retreating soldiers.  Duo and Heero run through, carrying guns and heading towards the colony control room.

Trowa (narrating): Operation Meteor.  That’s what they called Gundams’ decent to Earth.

Heero pauses briefly, but shakes his head and continues on.  Heero and Duo run down a hallway, only to be stopped by more soldiers shooting at them.  They duck and shoot back.

Trowa (narrating): But it was initially something completely different.  The rotation of a colony is increased.  Then the balancing mechanism is destroyed at La Grange, hurling the colony towards Earth.  As this causes chaos on Earth…

Duo tosses a grenade at the soldiers, distracting them.  He motions for Heero to follow, but then he notices his fellow pilot rocking in a pilot, curled in a fetal position.

Duo: …Heero?

Heero: The voices are back…make them stop…

Rolling his eyes, Duo grabs his arm and pulls him forward.

Trowa (narrating): …the Gundams are sent to take over.  That’s the general outline of the original Operation Meteor.  Personally, I think our way was better, wouldn’t you say?

Trowa is looking up information on another console, just as Heero and Duo burst in…to be greeted once more by their foe just before entering.  When the door shuts behind them, they cease running.  Soldiers lie unconscious on the floor, and Trowa sits with his back to them.

Trowa: Whoops…too slow.

Duo: <scratches the back of his head>  How does he do that?

Trowa: Well, are you going to just stand there all day, or are you going to help?

Heero and Duo each head towards a computer.

Heero: <typing> We’d better hurry.  Looks like they’ve started sending in troops to Earth.

Duo: I can’t seem to break the final lock.  We’ll have to reconnect the lines directly.

Heero: Don’t act like you know what you’re talking about.  You’re not fooling anyone.

Trowa: Many friends that I worked with are on this colony.  When I realized Dekim’s plans were really the original Operation Meteor, this is the only way I could think of to stop him.

Duo: <rolls his eyes>  It’s ALWAYS the only way you could think of.  What about Wu Fei?  Is he in on it too?

Heero: No, he hates roundabout approaches. 

Trowa: ‘sides; no one posing undercover as a soldier would possibly ever kiss up the way he does.

The trio type a bit more, and succeed in completed their mission.

Heero: Mission Complete.

Duo: <over intercom> This is Duo.

.

((Sally/Noin))

Noin: No shit, Sherlock.  We’ve been paying attention.

Sally spins round and round on the chair next to her.

Sally: Whoo!  This thing goes fast!

Noin: <sweatdrops> Well, I have, at least.

.

3 minutes later…

Sally abruptly stops spinning at the chair to stare at Duo in shock.

Sally:  Are you series?!

Noin: You guys stopped Operation Meteor?!

Duo (v/o): cool, ne?

.

((Zechs))

He points his tuning fork thingy at the satellite.

Zechs: <over intercom> This is Wind.  I’m destroying MO-3!

Une (v/o): Then shut up and do it already!

As Zechs fires, a shuttle is seen escaping just in the nick of time.  Dekim is inside.

Dekim: Missed me! Missed me!  Now you gotta kiss me!

Zechs: Damnit!

Une (v/o): Now, see, this wouldn’t have happened if you had just shot the damn thing when you were supposed to. 

.

((Trowa/Heero/Duo))

The three Gundam pilots are all sitting on the floor, sharing a bowl of popcorn.  Their attention is fixed on an object off-stage, which (when we swing the camera around) is shown to be a television set, broadcasting the entire last scene.

Duo: Aha!  So THAT’s how we know what’s going on…

Trowa watches as Dekim flies away, just as Zechs blows up the satellite.

Trowa: We were too late.  I told you guys to get here sooner!

Heero: At least we were able to save the colony.

Trowa: Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that.

From Outside: We have you completely surrounded; come out with your hands up…and the popcorn.

Trowa: It’s over.

The console Duo was sitting at beeps.  Duo gets up and walks over to it, smirking when he sees what it is.

Duo: Not quite.  I got some mail from Quatre.

Quatre’s face appears on the screen.

Quatre: Quatre, here.  I’ve just redirected the resources disposal satellite toward Earth.  It should reach the Earth’s orbit within twenty-four hours.  This message will self-destruct in sixty seconds.

Heero: Duo, send Quatre a message.  Tell him to send Wing-ZERO in the HES-88 direction.

Duo: Aww, do it yourself!

Heero glares, pretending like he didn’t hear that.

Heero: I’ll…pick up…Wing-ZERO…in…space.  You got that?  It’ll save time.

Outside, the soldiers are trying to open the door by means of pounding on it with their fists, to no avail.

Soldier 1: It’s not opening; what do we do?

Soldier 2: I’ve got an idea.  Hey, Steve!

A very tall, but thin soldier walks over.

Steve: Aww, do I have to?

Soldier 2: YES!

Steve begins stretching out.  First his legs, then his back, and finally his shoulders.  He then takes a couple of aspirin and puts on a helmet.  The others grab him and use him for a battering ram.

Steve: <thinking> At least I get to use a helmet this time…

Trowa: You can take the shuttle in the fourth hangar…you know, right next to the third hanger.

Heero: Duo, I have another favor.

Duo: ANOTHER one?!  I’m still walking funny after the last “favor” you asked me…

Heero: Hit me, baby, one more time.

Duo: <eyes wide> Have you gone crazy?! …don’t answer that.

From Outside: That does it!  Somebody get the blowtorch!

Heero: <to Duo>  Hurry up!

Duo: Okay, but remember: you asked for it! <crackles knuckles> I’ll give you my best punch!

Punches Heero in the face, just barely fazing him but creating a mark on his cheek.

Heero:that’s you best punch?

Duo: Er…

Heero groans slightly, but responds with a blow to the stomach, catching Duo off guard.

Duo: What the…?!

Heero: For our own good.  That’s one for one.

Duo collapses in Heero’s arms, evoking happy sighs from 1x2x1 fans everywhere.  He then hands Duo off to Trowa…

Heero: Take him; he’s heavy!

Trowa: <sarcastically> Oh, thanks a lot!

…before lying face-down on the ground.  In the next moment, the soldiers finally break the door open—Steve aimlessly walking in, dizzy—to the scene Heero intended to set.

Trowa: <to soldiers> Don’t worry.  I’ve taken care of them <hands Duo to one of the soldiers> But we…I mean…they prevented the colony’s instability.

While the soldiers are temporarily focused on Trowa, Heero gets up and dashes for the door.  The soldiers fire, but it’s too late: he escapes.

Heero: <as he leaves>  Your uniforms are stupid…!

Trowa looks on in the background, a faint smile on his face.

Trowa: <thinking> Suckers…

BOOM!

The soldiers stand around, blinking cluelessly at one another as the self-destruct message blows up in their faces, toasting them charcoal-black.

.

((Zechs/Noin))

Rubble floats about as Zechs calm sits inside the Tallgeese, reading a book.

Zechs: Hmm…not only does Spot run, but Spot runs fast! Intriguing…<turns the page>

Noin quietly heads towards where he’s floating.

Noin: Zechs…

An image of Treize’s ghost floats by.

Image of Treize’s Ghost: <sing-songy> He’ll he so-rry!

In the Tallgeese, Noin’s face comes on the viewscreen, but Zech’s face is still obstructed from her by the book.

Zechs: Is that you, Noin?

*pause*

Noin: YOU PUT THAT BOOK DOWN AND LOOK ME STRAIGHT IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW!

Zechs: *gulp* Yes, dear.

Zechs puts the book down, looking at the screen with a combination of love, guilt…and fear.

Zechs: Um…how’ve you been?

Noin: Don’t you try to change the subject, mister.  You’re in enough trouble as it is.  Do you have ANY idea how long I waited for you?!  ONE YEAR AND TWO DAYS!  Over twelve months of thinking you were gone and ALL THIS TIME YOU WERE ALIVE! Oh, you are sooooo sleeping in the doghouse tonight, buster.

Zechs: Yes, dear. <thinking> I should’ve stayed dead…

Noin continues to fly towards the Tallgeese.  The faint sounds of her ranting, and an occasional “Yes, dear.  Sorry, dear.” are heard in the background.

.

((Earth))

Citizens look up towards the sky as snow falls.

Citizen: Damn weatherman…saying it wouldn’t snow…

La-dee-da-dee-doe, hmm-hm-hm-hmm…hmm?  Oh, sorry; it’s been a while.   Christmas, After Colony 196.

Citizen (v/o): No, duh!

A scene of various MS floating down on parachutes appears briefly. 

Mariemaia’s collective group of voluntary fighting forces has succeeded in apprehending the Presidential Residence of the present Earth Sphere United Nation…*blink* Waitasec; first, it was Unified, now United?  I wish you people would make up your minds…unless, during the course of one day, ANOTHER alliance formed.  I wouldn’t put it past ‘em….

Dekim steps out from the White House building, and looks upward towards the sky.

As the frozen precipitation maintains its descending…

The shuttle containing Mariemaia and Relena flies through the Earth’s Atmosphere.

…the serene tranquility on earth has ceased, proceeding one annual cycle.

Wing-ZERO is ejected from the disposal block, courtesy of Quatre.

Wing-ZERO: A shot in the dark is not to say that all in darkness is a shot.

Deathscythe (v/o): Dear lord, make it STOP!

And the Preventers, presently the only relational resource, were merely lacking in the strength and skill to indulge in the action of ceasing such a means of attack.

A guy in the third row of the audience stands up and points.

Guy In the Third Row: Ha ha!  You guys SUCK!

Red lights in L3-X1…aww, you know which colony…go off as Heero steals a spaceship and blasts off with it…incinerating that guy in the third row.

Music starts playing somewhere in the background.

[As long as we can look each other in the eye and understand]

Heero (v/o): AHH!  NOW THEY’RE SINGING!

Sally is flies towards the Earth in her shuttle.  Simultaneously, Zechs and Noin land on Earth, with Une standing by to meet them.  Zechs blows open the hatch, falling to the ground.

Zechs: <hands over ears> Dear Lord, make it STOP!

Noin: <also blows open her hatch> …and making me babysit YOUR little sister instead of helping you in battle, while you were off probably with ANOTHER WOMAN…

Une just backs off slowly, not wanting to get involved.

Mariemaia Mc-soldiers toss Duo in jail…literally.

Duo: Is there some undesirable characteristic of mine that makes ME the one to always get thrown in jail?

We see that Trowa is among them.

Trowa: Hey, better you than me.

[People will go on freely and without hesitation
When we’ve overcome our mistakes we can be truly kind]

Wufei hovers over the Earth, sitting completely focused inside his Gundam, staring down the Earth.

Wufei: Hey, neat!  I can see my house from here.

[You and I have discovered…]

Mariemaia and Relena, guarded by saluting soldiers, stand meeting with Dekim in front of the palace; Relena just glares at him when Mariemaia nods her respects, then stares off into space…

Mariemaia: <looks up at her> Whatcha looking at?

Relena: Um…nothing.

Mariemaia: Yeah, right.

[…a great strength that we know as love.
I believe your love, shivering
With a kiss I make a silent with.]

Heero flies towards Wing-ZERO in his shuttle, completely focused.

Heero: <banging at the radio in his cockpit>  Make…*bang*…them…*bang*…STOP!  *bang*

[If only you could hear this heartbeat of mine
Beating strong and hard
So far away…]

The music starts to pick up, making Heero jump slightly in his seat.  The shuttle then coincides with Wing-Zero’s capsule-thing.  He hops out, and floats over to it, landing on top...

Heero: <rolling/bouncing on the surface> Ow! Ouch!  Ooch!  Ooh!  Yowza!  ITAI!

…before catching the hatch in his way past, climbing inside.

[Nothing is gained, and no one stays]

Heero activates Wing-ZERO once more as it comes to life with him inside the cockpit.

Wing-ZERO: I once was lost, now am found; was blind, but now I see.

[Let me offer to the baby’s small hand
This genuine throbbing of my heart
We all want to be held in the priceless warmth forever]

The capsule breaks apart, freeing the Gundam as it spreads its metallic wings out in mad-cool fashion.

Wing-ZERO: Dude…I rock.

[Like the warmth of the sunlight
As it shines through the forest]

Heero flies off with Wing Zero, towards Earth.

[I believe your love, the will to never give up
As you spread out those scarred and battered wings
You soar through the skies and portray an endless dream…]

Multiple shots of the earth are seen, focusing in on Mariemaia’s “castle.”  The scene switches to Relena staring out the window towards the sky.  Two guesses what the first words out of her mouth are.

Relena: Heero…

Heero (v/o): Ahhh!  Why can’t the voices leave me ALONE!

The ground starts to shake and sirens go off as the entire palace is sunk into the ground, closed off by multiple shields.

Soldier 1: I can feel the earth moving!

Soldier 2: First time?

Soldier 1: Yeah…I’m a little nervous, though.

Soldier 2: Don’t be afraid; the more you do it, the better it gets.  And easier, too.

Soldier 3: Closing Gates 1…Closing Gates 2…Closing Gates 3 and 4.  Closing Gates 5 and 6… Brusselsprout Presidential Residence blockade complete!

The scene goes back to Relena, still looking out the window.  Of course, by now all there’s left to see are rocks and dirt.

Relena: The view sucks.

Mariemaia (v/o):  My castle is completely protected…

Relena turns around, seeing Mariemaia in the doorway.  She walks forward, entering the room.

Mariemaia: Don’t you find it strange?  Why should such a shelter such as this be necessary in a peaceful world with no weapons?

Relena: Because…there are weapons?

Mariemaia: Don’t interrupt! <giggles> History is much like an Endless Waltz.  They’re both boring, and seemingly go on forever.  The instant the year After Colony 196 ends, I will be on the top of the Earth Sphere.

Relena: Isn’t that past your bedtime?

Mariemaia: Dekim says I get to stay up late just for my coronation.

.

((Wu Fei))

Wu Fei, in his Gundam, hovers over the Earth.  Inside, he sits with his eyes closed.  Probably sleeping, we’re not quite sure…

.

((***FLASHBACK*** Wufei—Colony L-5, where he grew up))

Wu Fei stands before the Elders of his clan, obviously mad.

Wu Fei: You’re dropping this colony onto Earth?!

The Eldest of the Elders nods his head.

Wu Fei: You’re nuts!  I’m piloting Nataku to wipe out the evils of the universe!

Eldest Elder: The Alliance has already decided to dispose of this colony.  Rather than just watch, it’d be better to go ahead with Operation Meteor.

Wu Fei: I don’t suppose that pile of money behind you had any influence on your decision?

Eldest Elder: …what money?

The camera zooms behind his “pillow seat”, where a large pile of gold, rubies, diamonds, and a few traces of silver rest, nearly sky-high.

Wu Fei: Ugh!  If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself!

He runs out of the room in a fury, activating the Altron Gundam inside the cockpit.

Wu Fei: I’ll destroy all the evil, fair and square!  You hear me, you cheaters!

And he heads towards Earth.  You know the rest.

Well, unless you haven’t seen the series yet…in which case, you shouldn’t be watching the movie.

Then again, nobody every listens to me anyway, so do what you want.

.

((***END FLASHBACK***))

Wu Fei: …that was it?  That’s my flashback for the movie?  What about Meiran?  Doctor O?  …the world’s against me!

Wufei sniffles, drawing an “aww!” from the audience.  He wipes away his few tears, before glancing to his left

Wufei: There he is!

Heero flies towards him in Wing-ZERO.  Wu Fei steers the Altron to face him.

Wu Fei: I won’t let you go to Earth!

Heero: Try and stop me, Mr. I-have-a-stick-up-my-ass-24/7!

Wu Fei: Who called me that?!

.

((DUO))

Duo: Man, it’s boring in here.  I think I’ll take a nap <lies down>

Suddenly, a voice is heard throughout the prison, nearly shattering the walls themselves.

Wall: Abuse…nothing but abuse!

Wu Fei (v/o): MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!

Duo: eep! <cowers underneath a nearby blanket, his voice muffled>  I didn’t do it!

.

((Wu Fei/Heero))

The two of them start to battle.

Heero: Is this what you interpret as justice?

Wu Fei: No, this is just for kicks, really.

.

((L3-X18999))

A rather large glass building is seen inside the colony.  Multiple guards are standing outside, but inside they’ve all been taken out by gas.

Soldier: The stench…too much…<passes out>

One soldier, wearing a gas mask, continues on. We see a large number of hostages in one room, including Catherine and…and…<checks name list>…Manager?

Cathy: <turns to Manager> This is the second time you booked us into a hostage situation.  I swear, one more time and I quit!

Manager: Oh and what will you do then…run away and join the circus?

*rimshot*

The gas-masked soldier knocks the guards in front of the door out with another canister of knock-out gas, then catches one who passes out nearly in his/her arms, carefully lying him down on the floor.

Gas-masked Soldier: You go sleepy sleep now.  ‘night-night!

The Soldier enters a code to open the door, removing the mask upon entering… Why, lookie here; it’s Sally Po!

Sally: Is everybody okay?

Woman: <sarcastically> Oh, gee…we’ve only been taken hostage and locked in a dark room without any food or water for god knows HOW long…of course we’re okay!

Sally: Good, then.  Let’s go.

.

((Duo))

Duo: Well now…

He reaches into his hair, to pull out something.  An explosive of some kind.

Duo: Quatre should be here any time…at least, he better be.

The soldiers standing guard outside the door hear a muffled explosion come from inside.

Soldier 1: Don’t tell me…another prisoner spontaneously combusted.

Soldier 2: Damnit, that’s the third one this week…let’s go see!

They both rush to the peephole.

Soldier 2: Me first!

Soldier 1: No, me!

Soldier 2: You got to go first last time!

Solder 1: No I didn’t! You did!

Soldier 2: No, you!

Soldier 1: No, y—

But their incessant bickering is cut off when the door lands on top of ‘em, having been kicked out by Duo, who runs off in an instant.

Duo: Sayonara, Suckers!

He runs out to the shuttle hanger, reaches a particular ship, and jumps up, the lack of gravity allowing him to jump to the door with ease…

Duo: <doesn’t make it, pulled down by gravity…HARD> OW!  Rasser Frasser…

…or not.

Duo: Hey!  Pull me up a ladder; I’m getting SHOT at here!

A rope ladder drops, letting Duo climb up it.  Believe it or not, after all that, and he STILL doesn’t get hit by a single bullet.

.

((Inside Ship))

Trowa sits calmly in the pilot seat, arms crossed.

Trowa: One-one thousand, two-one thousand, three—

Duo comes up behind him, lays one arm over the back of the chair, and leans in.

Duo: You could’ve at least come to help me!  There’s nothing wrong with helping out a friend in need.

Trowa: I wasn’t waiting for you…but for someone else.

Duo: *sniff* That hurts…

A voice comes from behind.

Sally (v/o): Sorry to keep you!

Duo turns around, just as Sally tosses one of her cinnamon-bun braids over her shoulder.

Sally: All hostages on this colony have been rescued!  Am I good, or what?

Trowa: Okay, let’s go.

Duo: *blink* What, are you two going out or something?

Sally: Not a chance; his sister was captured again.

Duo: A-GAIN?!

Sally puts a hand on his shoulder, causing Duo to recoil slightly for a moment.

Sally: By the way…thank you Duo.  You were kind enough to leave me plenty of good treats.

Duo: You’re mocking me, aren’t you?

Their shuttle blasts off towards Earth…

.

Hostage 5 (v/o): <still on Satellite> Hey!  Wait!  You forgot about us!  Ooh…wait until I get my hands on that…that…BLONDE!!!

.

((Heero/Wu Fei))

They’re still battling…

Heero: The more you fight, the more sacrifices for peace become a waste.  You must’ve realized that!

Wu Fei: Uh…no?

Heero: …you don’t even know, do you?

Wu Fei: …yes?

Heero: The war we fought is over.

Wu Fei: No, duh.  Does that mean we don’t need warriors?  Do soldiers who know nothing but battle get tossed aside?

Heero: I thought you used to be a scholar.

Wu Fei: You have no proof!

Heero: Soldiers have fought to attain a sense of peace.  Believe in the world we live in!

Wu Fei: Sorry…it’s against my religion.

As they fight, the two Gundams quickly fly towards the Earth, beginning to burn the instant they hit the atmosphere.

Wu Fei: I’m acting for the people who were used as weapons!  I’m fighting for all soldiers, including you!

Heero: A likely story.

Wu Fei: You and I are fighting like this.  Don’t you feel fulfilled as I do, when you’re fighting?

Heero: Well, actually…

Wu Fei: Oh, yeah. I forgot; you have a girlfriend now.

Heero: You have no proof!

Wu Fei: Puh-leeze…you ain’t seen nothing until you’re married.  Believe me.

Heero: <surprised> You were… married?

Wu Fei: You and I are the same!  Not nearly as much as you and Trowa…but we’re still the same!  We can only acknowledge our existence on the battlefield.

Heero: Just remember, Wu Fei, Treize is dead!  You killed him, remember!

Wu Fei: How could I forget?  Even now, he haunts me…

Treize’s Ghost suddenly appears, holding a lance.

Treize’s Ghost: Duel?

Wu Fei screams like a girl.

.

((Noin/Zechs))

The two of them fight a bunch of mobile suits on Earth, near the Palace where Mariemaia and Relena are.

Noin: “Oh, I’m sure we could sneak right in.  They couldn’t possibly have that many MS standing guard!” 

Zechs: Okay, okay, so I was wrong.  Happy now?

Noin: Actually, yes.

They continue to fight, but Noin notices him holding back.

Noin: Who are you waiting for?

Zechs: Who said I was waiting for anyone?

Noin: The script.

Zechs: That’s it; enough with the script jokes.

Noin: Who, Zechs?  It had better not be—

Zechs: Don’t start that again.  I’m waiting for those who hope for peace.  If people allow Mariemaia to do as she wishes…they’ll create a second Milliardo Peacecraft!

Noin: <thoughtful> Hmm…threesome…

Zechs: *blink*

Together, they destroy a few more MS.

Zechs (over intercom): Noin, you don’t have to stick by me…

Noin: Uh-uh, I’m not falling for that again.  I’m staying right by your side…whether you like it or not!

Zechs: *gulp* Yes, dear.

The camera zooms upward in the sky, where Wu Fei and Heero have continued their battle in air, directly over the water.

Heero: Love the ocean view.

Wu Fei: I do not consent to Relena Peacecraft’s ways.

Heero: <glares>  Low blow, bitch.

Wu Fei: Well, think about it; her belief that peace comes from discarding weapons and confine soldiers is wrong…not to mention, stupid!

Heero: So that’s why you’re allowing Mariemaia’s autocracy?

Wu Fei is next seen with a dictionary.

Wu Fei: <flipping through the pages> autocracy…autocracy…ah! <reads, then shrugs> Eh, why not?

Tossing the book over his shoulder, he moves in for another attack.  Altron succeeds in hitting Wing Zero with its saber, causing sparks to fly inside Heero’s cockpit.

Wing-ZERO: What goes around comes around…you bastard.

Heero: It might be okay for now, but Mariemaia will end up repeating history!  A history full of miserable wars.  Unless we stop this process now, more soldiers like ourselves will become necessary.  If that happens, a history of tragedy will keep repeating itself.

Wufei appears to be listening, taking the words to heart.

Wu Fei: <thinking> I don’t think I’ve EVER heard him talk this much before…

Heero: Wu Fei, tell me.  How many more people must we kill?

**Flashbacks to Heero’s experience on L1…well…flash by; the little girl, the explosion, Mary, the flower, etc**

Heero: <face down in sorrow> How many more times must I kill that girl and her dog?

Wu Fei: Waitasec…didn’t she survive the explosion?

Heero: Uh…yeah…I—er—forgot about that…

Wu Fei: <look of surprise…then suspicion>

Heero lowers Wing-ZERO’s wings, allowing it to drop.

Heero: You’ll never catch me alive!

Wu Fei watches in shock as Wing-ZERO plunges into the waters below. 

Wu Fei: …I thought he was over the suicide thing.  Guess not.

.

((Disposal Block—Duo/Quatre/Trowa))

The other three Gundams have all been recovered by their own pilot.  Heavyarms and Sandrock stand up, Sandrock wearing a cloak.

Sandrock: Hey, it’s the latest fashion!  All the desert Gundams are wearing it.

Quatre (v/o): Duo, Trowa, are you both ready to go?

Trowa: All set.

Quatre: Duo?

Silence follows.  Then…

Duo: <runs left to right of the screen, carrying something in his arms> Just a sec!

*pause*

Quatre: Are you ready now?

Duo then bongo-runs from right to left, shouting up at the two as he passes.

Duo: Almost ready!

*tick*

*tick*

*tick*

*tick*

Quatre checks his watch, becoming fascinated as the seconds tick past.

*tick*

*tick*

*tick*

*click*

Trowa turns on the television screen inside Heavyarms.

Trowa: Ooh…Pokémon…

*tick*

*tick*

Duo finally climbs into his Gundam’s cockpit.

Duo: All set!

Trowa turns off the TV.

Trowa: Dang…just when it was getting good, too.

Quatre: Let’s go, then!

Putting on his desert goggles, Quatre activates Sandrock, then slices through the hatch doors.

Quatre: You know…there is a button to open those things.

Sandrock: Always gotta do it the hard way, don’t you?

.

((Dekim/Mariemaia’s Base))

Soldier: Tallgeese and Taurus are past our point D number 3 defenses!

Dekim: What can they do with only two suits?!  Even if one of them is an unofficial Gundam.  Send our remaining assault troops to point D.

Soldier: Yes, sir!

Mariemaia: <to Relena> Looks like a sibling reunion will be difficult this time.

Relena: <staring at screen> No kidding…

.

((Broadcast to the civilians))

Dekim (v/o): We are facing fools that are hopelessly rebelling against the new order.

Civilian:  AGAIN?!

.

((President and little girl watching the broadcast))

The little girl sits on the floor, playing with a teddy bear, while the president resides on the couch, staring at the television.  The little girl suddenly stands up and points at the screen.

Girl: Grandpa, I thought there wouldn’t be any more wars.

President: *blink* Who are you? 

Girl: I’m your…uh…granddaughter.  Mommy said so.

President: I’ve never seen you before in my life!  How’d you get in here?!

Girl: You still didn’t answer my question. <points to TV> Why are those people still having a war?

The President seems to have suddenly forgotten what he was talking with her about, and pulls the little girl up on his lap.

President: Well, you see honey…there are people in this world with unresolved issues.  We call them “idiots”…

.

((Une—one of the command bases for Mariemaia))

Lady Une looks over the number of unconscious soldiers.  Never mind just how she got in; that’s apparently not important right now…or ever.

Une: Does she believe this is Treize’s ideal?  *twitch* Well, what do you expect from a 7-year-old? *twitch* But she doesn’t realize she’s merely Dekim’s puppet! *twitch* No, duh!

.

((Noin/Zechs))

As the battle against more and more MS, it becomes clear that they aren’t killing anyone in the process.  They’re only disengaging the MS.

Noin give out a grunt as she’s hit by an extremely hard attack.

Noin: Minds outta the gutter people!

Zechs flies high above the shots, directing them away from Noin; they almost seem to be coming from every direction.

Zechs: This is it.

Noin: I’m not saying any good-byes yet, Zechs!

Zechs: I didn’t think so…

They soon find themselves back-to back among an array of MS.

Zechs: …but it might be a good idea to take up praying right about now.

But just when things look hopeless, a miniature scythe (I forget what they’re called) comes up from behind, slicing the heads off of three mobile suits. They look up to see Sandrock standing there.

Quatre: Do I know how to make an entrance or what?

Sandrock: *sighs* Feels good to have you back inside me again, Quatre…

Everybody and everything comes to a screeching halt, and stares at Sandrock.

Sandrock: …what?

Noin: Quatre?!

Quatre: That’s my name; don’t wear it out.

Sandrock slices through two more MS in really cool fashion.  Quatre pushes up his goggles, then looks back at Noin.

Quatre: You two are truly impressive.  You’ve fought this many without killing one soldier.

Various soldiers are seen escaping from their destroyed MS, virtually unharmed.

Noin: I know; this really hasn’t been our day.

Duo appears from above, silhouetted against the moon, to attack.

Duo: <to Deathscythe> You know we’re all going to hell for this, right?

Deathscythe: So take the weapons, and war itself along with us.  It’ll be a party!

Duo: <shrugs> Works for me.

Trowa’s HeavyArms does that wicked-cool triple-triple flip that Trowa does, then lands all “Rambo” style.  Everyone applauds.

Heavyarms: You just HAD to top Quatre, didn’t you?

Trowa: I like being on top.

All:

Okay, I’m stopping now.  Promise.

Trowa: There’s about two hundred fifty left.  That’s about…<counts on his fingers> fifty suits each.  If that’s all, then we should be able to mange.

Heaveyarms: And if there’s more than that?

Trowa: Then…we’re screwed.

A multitude of citizens are gathered below one of those GIANT televisions, watching a broadcast of the fight.

Civilian: Gundams?!

Civilian 2: You sound surprised.

.

((Mariemaia’s Base))

Dekim: How much longer will those punk kids retaliate against me?!  In my dad, youngsters knew when they were outmatched.  Can’t beat years of experience and wisdom, I always say…

Mariemaia: Even if they did destroy the mobile suits, there’s no way they can break into this shelter.

Relena: …you sure about that?

Mariemaia:

Relena: That’s what I thought.

Mariemaia: <turns back to the screen> What they’re doing is still meaningless.

Relena sits in silence for a moment, watching the battle.  Soon, she stands up.

Relena: I’ve been…

Mariemaia: What’s wrong Relena?  That time of the month again?

Relena: I’ve been…<closes her eyes> I’ve been running from the truth!

Mariemaia: …you’re not a real blonde?

Opening her eyes, Relena dashes forward, pushing one of the solders aside to access the view screen.

Soldier: Hey!  That’s MY console; get your own!

Relena (broadcast): People!  Do not fear the broadcast you’re watching!

An image of Relena appears on the screen in place of battle.

Civilian: <screams>

Civilian 2: She just said not to fear the broadcast.

Civilian: *sniff* I thought she was talking about the battle…

Relena: Peace is not something that is handed to you on a silver platter.  Each person must…

The screen suddenly goes fuzzy, as uproar of murmurs rises in the crowd.

Civilian: Hey, wasn’t that…!

Civilian 2: That was Queen Relena!

Civilian: <bonks Civilian 2 on the head> She’s not Queen anymore, stupid.

Civilian 2: <rubs back of head> Well, sor-ry!

Back at the base, guns are pointed at Relena from all directions.

Relena: Oh, please…like I’ve never been on this side of a gun before.

She stands up straight to face Dekim.

Dekim: It’s still much too early for your appears to the people, Miss Former Queen.

Relena: *sniff* Low blow.

Mariemaia: Are you guiding the public to battle?  Doesn’t that go against your Total Peace Policies?!

Relena: I’m a hypocrite.  So sue me.

Relena Haters: HA!  SHE ADMITS IT!

Relena: <mutters> …like you’ve never had the chance to eat your own words before…

.

((Civilians))

A much larger group than ever has gathered all around the TV screen, looking up at the broadcast.

Civilian: I think my neck’s gone stiff.

Their attention is suddenly drawn away from the action by a voice from behind.

Voice from Behind: Are you people just going to keep sitting on your butts?

Man: …we’re not sitting.

They all turn around to see…Dorothy Catalonia.  Oh, the joy.  I’m so thrilled.  Can you tell the sarcasm?  Can you? 

Dorothy: <tapping her foot> Are you done yet?

I can always edit you out, you know.

Dorothy: <glares> You win this round, but mark my word, I’ll be back!

Uh-huh…<files her nails>

Dorothy stands, hands on her hips, in front of the crowd.

Dorothy: Mariemaia is the master you have all been waiting for.  Come on, wag your tails and run to her.

Man: Hey!  Are you comparing us to dogs?!

Dorothy: Ooh…you’re a smart one, aren’t you?

Man: Shut your mouth, lady!  You’re looking at a man who shot down five mobile suits in the war a year ago!

Dorothy: *snorts* Only five?  That’s funny….  I see no men around here.  The only men I know are either buried…<points to the screen>…or are broadcast on that screen!  Yes, only there do I see real men…<staring at Sandrock in particular>…ooh, do I see men…

Don’t even TRY it.

Dorothy: <glares> You wouldn’t be so high and mighty if you weren’t at that computer right now.

Ignoring Dorothy for a moment, the civilians’ attention is brought back to the screen, as they get a good look at the battle in front of them for the first time.  Images of Quatre, Trowa, and Duo all fighting appear over that of the man who spoke before.

Man 2: Peace is not something that is just handed to us…

An image of Relena’s brief appearance is seen.

Man (v/o): I think we may have been mistaken…

Man 2 (v/o): Speak for yourself.  But still, we should be the ones fighting.

Man 3: Of course, we won’t use any weapons to fight.

Man:

Man 2:

Man 3: …what?

Man 4: Is that the responsibility given to us survivors?

Man 2: <shrugs> Probably not, but what the hell?

Man 5: We must prove that we deserve this peace that we have worked so hard to obtain.  We must confirm that we are worthy of this freedom.

Man: Okay, I’m going!  I’m going to the Presidential Palace—to Relena!

Man 6: You mean now?

Man: <sarcastically> No, I was thinking somewhere along the lines of three weeks from now.

Man 6: Okay, smart-ass, mind telling us how you plan to do that?

Man: We’ll find a way!

Man 5: Whoa, back that ass up, buddy.  We?

Man 7: Count me in, too!  Anyone else, just follow us!

Man 8: <meekly> Can I come, too?

The sounds of various other men, woman, and even children agreeing to go along rise, though heads are already spinning from the number of speaking characters in this scene.  Sheesh.

Dorothy: <smirking> I guess I’ve got no choice.  Let me give you all a ride in my vehicle…s.

A snap of the fingers, and a GIANT truck pulls up behind her, soon followed by several more…my god, what did she do; rob a freakin’ bus company?!

The civilians all start piling in the trucks…one of which, we can just barely see the driver, hands tied to the steering wheel, mouth taped, and holding up a sign reading “CALL THE POLICE!” No one pays any heed to him, however.

.

((Back at the Battle Site))

Mobile suits continue to fire.   For an instant, we catch a view of Trowa’s circus mask lying on the ground with HeavyArms fighting in the background.  Quatre takes down one mobile suit, only to be sandwiched between two more, using his propulsion to set him free.

MS Pilot 1: Cheater!

Duo mainly fights with his scythe.  He slices yet another MS…

Duo: Take this!

…only to find himself facing two more.

Duo: Ahh!  They’re multiplying!

Trowa uses a bit of ammo to destroy oncoming missiles, while Quatre readies his mini-scythes once more.

Quatre: Looks like we’re fighting another losing battle.

Duo (intercom): Eh, what else is new?

.

((At the bottom of the ocean…yes, you heard me right: Ocean))

Wing-ZERO just lies on the bottom, unmoving.  Heero sits in the cockpit, still harnessed in and clutching the controls, but otherwise unconscious.  As the system suddenly starts up, this wakens Heero.

Heero: No wonder I never get any sleep anymore.

The ZERO system floods the cockpit briefly with a bright, yellow light.

Heero: ZERO…can you move?

Wing-ZERO: Assurance is nothing without the proof to back it up.

Heero: I’ll take that as a yes.

The suit stands upright.

Heero: Tell you what…make it through this, and I promise this’ll be your final fight.

Wing-ZERO: And should the likely occurrence that we are fatally wounded in battle come to pass…?

Heero: …then it’ll definitely be your final fight.

ZERO blasts off, and out of the water.

.

((Back at the Fight))

The Gundams and company are all fighting with difficulty, each taking heavy blows as he/she goes.

Zechs: Gundam Pilots!  That’s enough!  Leave us and retreat!

Duo: Works for me!  See ya!

Deathscythe starts to walk away, before getting pulled back by the wings by Sandrock.

Sandrock: Don’t even think about it.

As this happens, one of Quatre’s mini-scythes gets knocked to the ground.  Quatre holds tight inside, breathing heavily….

I’ll be good.  I swear.

Quatre: If we were fighting to kill, we’d be done long ago.  But then coming back here would be meaningless.

Noin: At this rate, you’d die in vain!

Quatre: Of course we wouldn’t; you think the fangirls would take kindly to our deaths?

Duo: If we’d planned on retreating, we would’ve been gone.

Quatre: …didn’t I just say that?

Just then, Heavyarms runs out of ammo.

Heavyarms: Dangit; I knew I should’ve stocked up before leaving the disposal block.

Trowa: Sure… now you bring that up.

Duo (over intercom): …I know it’ll be tough to keep fighting, though.

Trowa: We used to be just like them, remember?  Dekim coaxed them into believing their reason for living is to fight.

Noin: But…

Duo: Hey, don’t worry about it.  We’ve gotten pretty good at these losing battles! …well, we’ve survived them, haven’t we?

Quatre: Barely.

.

((Mariemaia’s HQ))

Relena stands in front of the soldiers, and even though she’s still got guns pointed at her, she proceeds to give a speech.  Yup; nothing unusual about this scene.

Relena: I didn’t go back to being a Darlian to get revenge for my father.

Relena Haters: Who cares?!

Relena Supporters: …for once, we’re with them.  Get on with it!

Relena: Nothing can be achieved through revenge.  Hatred will only result in breeding more hatred.

Mariemaia: You only think that way because you lost your battle.

Relena: Nuh-uh!

Mariemaia: But I’m different.  I’m special. I will be victorious.

A soldier off screen gives a status report, in Mariemaia’s favor, that the Gundams have stopped fighting.  Upon hearing this, Mariemaia tilts her head to the side in a cutesy-manner.

Mariemaia: Is that good timing, or what?

.

((Battle))

All three of the Gundams are back-to-back-to-back against a multitude of MS.

Duo: I’ve got nothing left.  Self-detonation could take out about half the suits left.  What do you think?

Quatre: Is there ever a time we don’t resort to self-detonation?

Duo: Nope.

Trowa: Never.

Duo: We wouldn’t be Gundam Pilots otherwise.

Trowa: But detonation should be done AWAY from them.  Limit the casualties to just ourselves.

Quatre: …what good would that do?

Duo: Yeah, guess you’re right, Trowa.

Just when they’re about to go through with it, a blimp on their scanners shows movement above.

Quatre: What?!

Duo: Above us!

Wing-ZERO, a little wet, appears with its buster riffle pointing downward.

Heero: Heeeeeeeeere’s Johnny!

Zechs: Wing-ZERO!

Thanks for stating the blatantly obvious, Zechsy.

Zechs: ‘s what I’m here for, apparently…

Wing-ZERO aims its weapon on the fortress shields below.

Heero: Locked onto target!

Wing-ZERO: One’s perspective is not completely accurate without a seconds agreeing opinion on the matter.

Heero: No wonder Quatre went crazy inside you.

Sandrock: WHAT?!  Quatre!  How could you?!

Quatre: Not now, Sandrock…

.

((Palace))

Soldier: Another Gundam confirmed!

Dekim: Oh, come on; how many of these Gundams ARE there?

Soldier: <stands up> Mr. Dekim, we’re online with one of the Gundam pilots!

A giant AOL IM screen popup appears on the screen

Giant AOL IM screen popup: Wing-ZERO Want to Directly Connect… Accept/Decline?

Clicking “Accept,” Heero’s image appears in place of the popup.

Relena: Heero!

Mariemaia: You know him?

Heero: Let me confirm; your shelter shield’s activated?

Dekim: <glares> Young man, what are you planning?!

Heero: I asked you a question first!

Mariemaia steps forward to answer.

Mariemaia: Of course it is.  Go ahead; push the button!  Push the damn button!

Heero: All right, but remember…you asked for it!

Mariemaia takes on a shocked appearance, almost frightened…

Mariemaia: Me and my big mouth.

…as Wing-ZERO fires, weakling the shield and shaking the whole ground.

Dekim: Gather all the Serpents here!  Shoot down Wing-ZERO!

Wing-ZERO: Pft…I’d like to see you try!

Mariemaia: What a miserable person.  He’s not going to prove anything.

Relena: Are you afraid, Mariemaia?

Mariemaia turns to look at Relena briefly, then back at the screen.

.

Wing-ZERO fires again, beginning to break apart from the force of the blast; the lights in the base phase in and out on impact.

Soldier: Damnit, I blew a fuse!

Dekim: That’s impossible!  How could this be happening?!

Soldier: The shield’s lost half its strength.  Wing-ZERO’s aim is accurate to one hundredth of a unit!  This shelter will collapse if it’s hit again in the same place!

Soldier 2: Then SHUT UP and DO something about it!

Dekim: <looks up at Heero> Stop it!  Relena Peacecraft is in here!

Upon hearing this, Heero briefly lowers the riffle.

Heero: You fight dirty.

Dekim sticks his tongue out at Wing-ZERO.

Dekim: Nyah-nyah!

Among all this, Relena stands up and stares straight at the screen.  Placing a fist over her heart, she whispers his name and closes her eyes.

Mariemaia: Oh, hell…she’s as suicidal as he is….

A multitude of MS try to shoot Wing-ZERO down, but to no avail.  Heero stands…er…sits in undecided resolution.

Heero: <thinking> Destroy the base, kill Relena…Don’t destroy the base, doom the world…decisions, decisions…

Of course, at this point, all Relena Haters have been bounded and gagged so that they can’t voice their own opinions.

Relena Supporters: We’ll untie you when the scene’s over.

But just then, a sudden flash of the little girl he “killed” long ago comes to mind, he fires…

Heero: Whoops; my finger slipped.

Wing-ZERO blows up from the overwhelming force of the blast.

Quatre: Heero!

Wing-ZERO: <sarcastic, but weak> Don’t…worry…about me….  I’m…fine…

Everybody else has looks of shock on their faces.  However, the effort was a success and the shields are penetrated.  Just as the blast makes it’s way through the final shield before hitting the base itself…

Mariemaia: <glares at Relena> I blame you for this, you know.               

Relena: Aw, go have a tea party.

…Lady Une appears out of nowhere, knocking Relena and Mariemaia out of the way.  When the immediate danger is over, she pushes off a large piece of ceiling that had fallen on them, and partially gets up.

Ceiling: I believe you know my cousin, the fourth wall?

Une: Are you two okay?

Mariemaia: Who the hell are you?

Une:  I was…er…your father’s…assistant…yeah, that’s it. 

Mariemaia: <glares suspiciously> Yeah, and my mother was his nurse.

Relena: Actually, she’s telling the truth.

Mariemaia: …so was I.

Just as Dekim gets up off the ground, the Soldier has even more news.

Soldier: Mr. Dekim!  Another Gundam has arrived at defense line number 4 point E!

Dekim: <sarcastically> Oh, that’s just lovely.  Peachy-keen, even.

<blows trumpet> Duh-duh-duh-DA!!!  It’s Fei-Fei!

Wu Fei: <glares> Don’t call me that.

Sorry. Got caught up in the moment, you know?

A group of people are shouting at Mariemaia MS, voicing their opinion.

Civilian: There is no way we’d obey you!

Civilian 2: We don’t want any more wars!

A chant starts up among the crowd as others get involved.

Civilians: <chanting> Hell, no; we won’t go!  Hell, no; we won’t go!

The civilian uproar and their sheer numbers…not to mention the fact they have a kick-ass Gundam backing them up…drive the MS back.

Wu Fei: Battles like these are not decided by the soldiers.  Thanks to them, I can give up fighting!

Wu Fei closes his eyes and smiles softly.

Wu Fei: This is goodbye, Trieze.

Treize’s Ghost suddenly appears inside the cockpit.

Treize’s Ghost: Not so fast; you can’t get rid of me THAT easily. 

Wu Fei screams like a girl

Noin: Zechs…

Zechs: This is good.  We don’t have to abandon hope just yet.

Noin: <glares at him> No thanks to you.

Zechs: *sigh* Yes, dear…

Trowa: The detonation device missed its chance again.

*pause*

Duo/Quatre/Trowa: Damn.

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((Back at the Palace))

Dekim: Who the hell are they?!

Soldier 1: Um…civilians, sir.

Dekim: Oh, like that helps.

Meanwhile, Lady Une, Relena, and Mariemaia stand off to the side.

Une: While His Excellency fought losing battles, he truly loved people who weren’t afraid to fight.  And that’s why people can accept the Gundams.

Mariemaia: *blink* Because…they’re suicidal?

The three of them look up at the screen.

Une: It’s not the victor that moves the heart of the people.

Mariemaia pouts, folding her arms.

Mariemaia: That’s not what Dekim said.

Relena: <sarcastically> By George, I think she’s got it.

Wing Zero crashes to the ground, almost completely put out of commission; Heero topples out of the cockpit.

Wing-ZERO: Ooh…that’s gonna smart tomorrow…

Dekim apparently doesn’t know when to quit.

Dekim: This is crazy!  We cannot be defeated!  We the Barton family are the true rulers of the Earth Sphere!  How the HELL did a bunch of 16-year-olds beat ME!  I’m older than the lot of them PUT TOGETHER!!!

Abruptly, he turns around…now holding a miniature hypnosis machine.

Dekim: Mariemaia-sama!  Assume you position as head of the Earth Sphere!

Tricked into looking at the magic circular-thingy, Mariemaia starts walking forward in a trance-like state.  From her minor injuries sustained in the last blast, she stumbles slightly.

Mariemaia: <robotic> I am…victorious…I’m carrying out my father’s desires…

Suddenly, Une steps in front of her, and raises a hand.

Une: Do forgive me…

But just before Une does anything else, RELENA steps forward and bitch-slaps the little girl.

Mariemaia: <whining> Hey!  What was that for?!

As Relena puts her hand down, Mariemaia raises hers to where she was slapped.

Relena: Excuse me, but it’s time you opened your eyes, Mariemaia.

Mariemaia: …I can’t believe you just bitch-slapped me.

Relena: You have learned what real fear is, so I’m sure you can see all the mistakes you’ve made.

Mariemaia: Oh, sure.  Rub it in, why don’t you?

Dekim points a gun at Relena.

Dekim: Stop right there, Relena Peacecraft…er…Darlian…er…

Relena: Hold on…

Everybody pauses as she takes out a coin and flips it.  It lands on “Heads”

Relena: Peacecraft, this time.

Dekim: …Relena Peacecraft, then.  I can’t allow you to brainwash my Mariemaia with such trash!

Une: This from the man who corrupts his own granddaughter.

Dekim: Quiet, you.

Relena: If you think that gun’s going to scare me…you obviously haven’t seen the series yet.

Dekim: Then I’ll tell you the TRUTH before you die:  The public must always obey the victor!

Dekim fires, but Mariemaia stands in the way of the bullet just in the nick of time, saving Relena’s life.

Relena: Not necessarily…given the impact point of the bullet, namely at her waist…he must’ve been aiming at, like, my knee or something.

Sure, get technical why don’t you?

Mariemaia falls to the ground, blood seeping through…

…and she bleeds!  I can’t believe it; she actually bleeds!

Everyone: *blink*

Sorry…been watching edited anime dubs WAY too long….

Dekim: We can always create a replacement for Mariemaia!  I made her after all!

Relena: Well, technically, her parents made her…

Although bleeding profusely, Mariemaia manages enough strength to place her hand over her ears.

Mariemaia: Too Young!  Too Young! Too Young!

Dekim re-points the gun at Relena, but this time, Lady Une gets out HER gun, pointing it at Dekim.  Neither of them fire, however, because a THIRD gun held by a soldier on Dekim’s left shoots him dead. 

Feathers fly…literally.

Soldier with Gun: <shaking> He just…wouldn’t shut up…

Relena carefully lifts up Mariemaia’s body, partially off the ground and face-up.  Mariemaia’s still conscious, but just barely.

Relena: Mariemaia, hold on!

Mariemaia: To…what…?

Une comes from behind to support her, resting Mariemaia’s head on her lap like a pillow.

Mariemaia: Relena, I was mistaken.  I’m sorry.  Happy now?

Relena: Mariemaia…

A voice from behind interrupts the heart-warming scene.

Voice From Behind: I’ll put you out of your misery.

Relena turns around, to see…

Relena: Heero…with a gun. Well, that’s nothing new.

Mariemaia closes her eyes and smiles.

Mariemaia: Thank you.

Heero pulls the trigger, but nothing happens.  Mariemaia peacefully fades into unconsciousness.  Heero just stands there, expression emotionless.

Heero: I’ve killed Mariemaia.

Relena: Um…actually…

Heero: <sternly> I’ve.  Killed.  Mariemaia.

Relena: Riiiight…gotcha.

Heero: I…I…I…will never kill again.  I don’t…have to anymore.

Loosing consciousness, Heero begins to fall forward…

Relena: <gets up, runs towards him> Heero…!

Relena manages to catch him well before he hits the ground.  She just stands there for a moment, looking at him unconscious in her arms…then tosses his body on the floor.  She stands over the now semi-conscious Heero, hands on her hips and glaring.

Relena: THAT was for trying to kill me…

Lady Une checks Mariemaia’s pulse, finds one, and motions towards a nearby soldier.

Une: Don’t just stand there, gawking… call 911, you idiot!

Heero now sits up, rubbing the back of his head.  Relena kneels in front of him, still glaring.

Heero: <to Relena> Are you happy now?

Relena: Actually…yes.

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((Outside the Palace))

The multitude of soldiers exit their MS, build a bonfire, and burn all their guns and weapons as Wu Fei watches from inside his Gundam.

Wu Fei: Uh…you guys DID remember to empty out the shells from those things…didn’t you?

Soldiers:

Chaos erupts when the guns start going off inside the fire, sending bullets flying in all directions.

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((Just outside the city))

Over the river and through the woods…and on a BIG hill during sunrise…

Duo: This time it’s good-bye for real, buddy.

Duo holds up the button Heero-style once more and pushes it, detonating HeavyArms, Deathscythe, and Sandrock…

Sandrock: <glares…at Quatre in particular> I am so coming back to haunt your sorry ass, you bastard.

…They blow up; go boom!

Trowa: I just thought of something.  Why didn’t we just blow them up the FIRST time we meant to get rid of them?

Duo:

Quatre:

Trowa: …oh, yeah; damn subplots.

Quatre: Right; if we had destroyed the Gundams in the first place, I couldn’t have played hero and fetched them during the movie.

Duo: I don’t suppose it would do any good to point out if was your idea to send them off in the first place.

Quatre: Don’t make me go ZERO on you.

Trowa just stares out in front of him, watching the sunrise.

Trowa: I’ve become nameless again.

Quatre: Trowa sounds fine to me.  Why not keep it, Trowa?

Duo: Yeah…it’s not like you’ve got Dekim still on your ass about it.   Besides, what’s in a name, anyways?  What really matters is that we all have a place we can call home.

Trowa: *gulp* And a sister who’s most likely gonna ground me for a MONTH.

Quatre: What are YOU complaining about…do you have ANY idea how many older sisters I have.

Trowa/Duo: <chuckling> Sucks to be you.

Quatre: …I hate you both.

Over in another area, one quite beautiful, Wu Fei holds up the Altron Gundam’s self-detonation switch.  Wu Fei cackles evilly as he pushes the button.

Wu Fei: Let’s see you escape THIS one, Treize…

A brief view of inside the Gundam is shown, where Treize’s Ghost is seen…tied up, bound and gagged, before the whole thing blows up.  Coming out of his “evil” moment, Wu Fei then takes on a more peaceful, maybe even a little sorrowful, look.

Wu Fei: Rest in Peace, Nataku.

An image of a slightly younger, female version of Wu Fei appears out of the air, a smile on her face.

Meiran: You have done well, Wu Fei.  I’m proud of you.

Wu Fei screams like a girl.

Wu Fei: NOT ANOTHER ONE!!!

Meiran just glares at him, then smacks the boy upside the head.

Meiran: Will you SHUT UP?!

Wu Fei: *grumble, grumble* Yes, dear…

Zechs (v/o): Now you know how I feel!

About five minutes later, Meiran disappears, but then Sally walks up to him from behind.  Wu Fei silently mutters something about “Too many damn women.”

Sally: Hey, Wu Fei!  Zechs and Noin have disappeared somewhere.  <blanks out> Zechs, I understand…but I wonder what made Noin decide to leave.  <snaps out of it> Oh, well.  So what do you say?  Wanna come work for…er…with me?

Wu Fei: …as a Preventer?  <shrugs> What the hell.  Couldn’t hurt, could it?

Treize’s Ghost is seen above, though unseen by Wu Fei (thankfully)

Treize’s Ghost: Famous last words…

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((In a shuttle above the Earth))

Noin: Are you sure?  The Terra Formation Project hasn’t officially started yet.

Zechs: Relena is working on it, and it won’t be easy.  It creates the perfect distraction for me to sneak away again.  Noin, are you sure you…

Noin suddenly gets down on her knees, pleading.

Noin: Look, I’ve forgiven you above the whole disappearing-for-over-a-year thing, but whatever you do, please…PLEASE…don’t make me go back!  I swear one more mission with that woman and I would’ve gone ZERO on the colonies…

…Am I on? 

After Colony 197.  You heard me; new year.  Belief of pacifism has returned to the civilians, some of whom were never even consciously aware of the antagonist threat proposed upon them during their holiday season.  From this moment in the course of time, weaponry known to the current generation as Mobile Suits, including the Gundams, were never seen again…

Heero (v/o): <mysteriously> That’s what he thinks….

.

One by one, the “aftermath” is displayed as music plays, giving a brief glance into the current new life of each Gundam Pilot, as well as others.  All I have to say after watching it many, many times is this:  MY…GOD…ARE RELENA AND HEERO PSYCHICALLY CONNECTED OR SOMETHING?!  Those two scare me sometimes, I swear!

As the movie comes to an end, and the end credits appear, who else but the star of the movie, the fourth wall, comes bouncing out to center screen.  The words “THE END” are displayed in bright, red letters.  And then…

…the fourth wall crumbles.

 

~fin~

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Do not distribute or reproduce without permission.

Original version © 2002.

Edited and revised version © 2005.

 

Contact author at: aitoanshin@gmail.com